Stanley S NDE

Experience Description

I was in broadcasting since 1968-1995. It was 12/31/1989 around 4-5 o'clock in the morning. I tried to get up to make coffee and let my wife sleep in. Later that morning I was going to do my radio program.

Then everything went black.

I was wide awake and then suddenly lost consciousness. Then I woke up. I was lying in bed at an angle with no idea why I passed out.

I called Dr. Ronald H, my personal friend. I explained what happened and I went to his office immediately. He was baffled. We talked about sleep paralysis and that type of thing, but he said it doesn't fit the scenario since you were not sleeping. I was there at his office for 90 minutes. He couldn't diagnose the problem since all my tests turned out fine.

From 1989 to 1995, I had 1 to 2 of these blackout episodes a month. The doctors thought they might be seizures, but there was no firm diagnosis.

My wife and I were raised Catholic, but had drifted away from the religion. I reached a point where I was questioning if God existed and we had quit celebrating holidays. God wasn't a part of our lives anymore.

On April 4, 1999, at 5:00 a.m. I had four of those blackouts in a row. They were both, exhausting and frightening at the same time.

Then fifth blackout happened. This time, I gave into the darkness and felt my body shutting down. My arms and legs went dead. Then I ceased to breathe. I believe I was dying.

I suddenly felt myself leave my body and I went to up through the rafters. I could see the wooden rafters, but not feel them. Then, I rose above the roof about 30 feet.

Then I saw the most beautiful, silver-white pearlescent light and everything around me was the color. It was absolutely gorgeous!

I didn't feel my body at all. It was me, but without my body. I felt no pain. There was nothing that was weighing me down. I felt bouyant, light, and wonderful in my peaceful surroundings.

Then, I figured I was either hallucinating or dead, so I decided to as for proof of which one it was.

Jesus Christ appeared in front of me. I think to myself, 'I'm not hallucinating.' Jesus appeared as we see him in pictures. I had a strong feeling that my life was too short and that there was something important that I still needed to do. I begged Christ, 'Please kick me into my body, there's something else I need to do.' Christ smiled and nodded. Suddenly, I was back into my body.

I thought about the experience. Growing up, I had been closer to Mary than Jesus. So I was very surprised that Jesus showed up.

I don't know how long I was away or how long the experience lasted. Judy, my wife, woke up. I said, 'You aren't going to believe what happened!' I was stuttering, tired, and confused. I continued, 'I just saw Christ and begged him to come back. Here I am. I don't even know what day it is.' She said, 'It is Easter Sunday morning 4/4/1999. Of course you would see Christ on Easter.'

This experience was not like a dream where it is like a cloud and then vaporizes. This was so vivid. I lived my life and retired. I wondered what I was supposed to do. The years continued to go by.

In 2003 Judy had a mammogram and there were calcifications in both breasts. We were both scared and I wondered if this was my purpose for coming back. No, thank goodness she was fine.

In 2006 on a weekend, I kissed Judy goodnight. I rolled over on my left side and all went black. Judy was scared and yelling 'Stanley, Stanley' and doing CPR. I woke up. She told me I was making a horrible, mournful sound, yet I don't recall making any sounds. I asked her, 'What day is this?' She replied, 'It is Good Friday.'

In 2007, Judy was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She lived for 10 years and died on April 29, 2014. This was right before our anniversary of April 30th. I now know that the reason I came back was to care for her during her slow decline with Alzheimer's.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 4-4-99

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) Unexplained blackouts

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I never saw the rafters when the house was built when I was 11 years old. I saw them in the experience. I didn't feel the sensation of being pulled through the rafters, but I knew I was passing through them as I went over the roof. When I gave into the darkness, my surroundings turned white. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. My consciousness was increased, and more acute because I had never seen the pearlescense. I felt at peace and no pain.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Throughout the entire experience.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. Time isn't measured over there like it is on earth. I can't really describe it.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Vision is not with eyes. It is just being.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Hearing is not with ears. It is just being. I heard myself pleading with Christ, but I didn't move my mouth since I didn't have one. It was like being on the telephone, I'm explaining to you but you can't see my mouth.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I just saw Jesus.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I was enveloped by bright, white pearlescent light. It was the whitest and purest light I have ever seen, before of since this time.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. Pearlescent light surrounded me. It wasn't a smothering cloud, it looked like a shiny pearl color.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? First I felt extreme fear, thinking the blackness of death was all there was after life. I felt like it was the shadow of death. It was very personal and I was alone. After I gave in to the darkness, then I felt wondrous when I broke through to the other side. The blackness ended. Then I felt Joy, Excitement, and Effortlessness.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life. I felt a point of no return. I was scared that I had wasted my life, so I needed to go back. 'Please kick me back into my body.'

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic After a while, it wasn't a focus of my life and I drifted away from the Catholic church

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I take from all religions, and the good things I practice in my life.

What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic I don't follow religion, but consider myself a Catholic. My faith in God is stronger than it ever has been. I'm not attending regularly. Church, to me, is the beauty of the sky and the earth. It was like when I was flying an airplane and the sky was my church.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I expected Blackness, but I was surprised to see the light.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I feel far more compassion than I ever thought possible and I feel far more regret over my sins.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. I encountered Jesus.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes I saw Jesus Christ. He looked like our typical pictures of him. I think this is so because otherwise, I would have been frightened and thought I was hallucinating.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes When I asked if it was a hallucinating, I saw Christ. If Christ is the son of God, then God exists.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain. I knew I needed to come back. I don't know why but my life's work wasn't finished.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain I knew I hadn't fulfilled my purpose. I had to come back.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists. I was on the other side, so my life continued after the darkness.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes We should all try to be as good as we can without looking for a reward. Try to be as pleasant as you can be without any hypocrisy.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Love transcends death. Love for my wife is what made me come back.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Everything has a deeper meaning, like love, kindness, and compassion. I want to be more than a body taking up space.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I give things to others to make them happy, not for the reward of it. I am more open with my feelings to those I care about. The happiest time was with Judy. Best life. Marriage - stable marriage is the most important thing.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Finite thought can't explain the infinite.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. It was 20 years ago and as clear in my mind as talking to you on the phone. It takes on an entirely different memory and is far more vivid than when I was flying an airplane. This was the most memorable and vivid experience I had ever had.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes

Late 1950s when we lived in NY, 120 acres farm. The word was 'inconceivable' and it stuck in my mind. Then we moved to Florida in 1959. In 1961, I'm in the 6th grade. My teacher, Mr. T was talking to the class and he turned to me and asked me to spell 'inconceivable.' I couldn't believe it. Why did that word stick in my mind?

1963 moved to Montana. Appendix bothered me. Surgery the next day to remove it. I got out of bed and drifted to the window. Looked about 4 stories down and saw a sign saying 'rooms for rent.' My folks drove in and my parents were asking about renting a room for a week until I got out of the hospital. I told them where the house was and told them about the sign. They got the room for a week. I asked them if they saw the sign, they didn't see a sign. I must have been having an out of body experience.

I know things before they will happen. Certain things are coincidences. When my wife was in hospice. The team that took care of her were wonderful. They were called the Iris team. After Judy passed, all I heard was 'Iris.'

When my father went in for surgery, I knew he was thinking about whether to go or stay. I told my mother and step-sister. The doctor told us that he passed away 10 minutes later. Elevator shot up to the top of the building and got stuck up there for 20 minutes. My step sister thought it was dad who caused it.

Mother talking about father, 'that's where your father used to sleep.' The lights went on and off. I checked and there was no short in the wire.

I had a very VIVID Dream of Benny a few months ago. Benny is my beloved dog who passed away in 2019. He was "in my face," SMILING at me. When he saw I saw him so CLOSE to me, he jumped down onto the ground and started running around a large flower pot in the back yard. He was like a PUPPY. I turned to the Kitchen window, and was going to tell Judy about it (she was in the house), when I awoke. It was as if Benny was showing me he was YOUNG AGAIN.

Then, a couple of weeks ago, on the bed next to where his picture and box of ashes are (no- nothing weird about that), he appeared in front of my face, and again SMILED, as if to show me he was Young and Healthy and Happy.

As my 6-year old Uncle Timothy was dying of the "Spanish Flu" on October 31st, 1918 (my Mother's 8th Birthday), he asked my Grandfather- "Papa! Can you HEAR the ORGAN MUSIC?! Can you SEE the ANGELS?" He Passed Away, right then.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes. Christ answered my begging prayer to come back and finish what I needed to do. Love was the basis for why I chose to come back because I needed to come back. It was more pretty than the beauty I was in.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared it with Judy. I told my doctor. I told Barry at the time. Doctor L, who was Jewish. He was asking about what Jesus looked like. He started laughing at me. But later called me and told me that I was correct. He wouldn't elaborate.

I tried to be careful about who I talked to.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I heard about it. Saw TV and articles in a magazine. Never had first-hand experience prior to my experience.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I asked for proof and when Jesus showed up, I wasn't hallucinating.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. My belief hasn't changed.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I was questioning about my purpose. Then came the good Friday experience; it brought the blackness again. Then CPR from Judy. It was like another nudge from God. I never questioned about my purpose again. I know a year later that it was to take care of Judy during her Alzheimer's.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? There is another life, so do the best you can in this one. Be as kind as you can to others - animals and people, everything. Giving into the blackness was the key to crossing to the light. I didn't fight it.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Make easy for those who are not computer literate.