Steve H STE

Experience Description

Introduction:

I feel that it is important to give a little background information. When I was 21 years old, I was in a state of despair, having trouble in college, poor relationships, and a depression that would never stop since my childhood. I had physically and emotionally suffered a lot in my life and did not see much value in living. I wanted to die, but did not like the idea of suicide. I decided to force God to make a decision, so I tested Him. (By the way, I highly recommend NOT do this!)

One night, after drinking 20 or so beers, I decided to drive on a curvy, hilly Kentucky country road while not letting up on the accelerator. I was not wearing a seat belt at the time. I hit 50, 60, 70, 80 mph and approached a curve with a grade leaning away from the direction of travel. I lost control of my old 4WD Toyota pickup truck. The truck rolled many times. God made sure that I did not hit my head. Time slowed down, and my foot or leg got hung in the steering wheel which prevened me from being completely ejected from the vehicle. But my body was hanging out of the broken windshield. As the truck rolled again, it rolled over me. My bones crushed in slow motion and I felt ALL of the pain. After the truck stopped, I lay in the grass writhing in pain. After about 45 minutes, the media and the ambulance arrived. Thank God, I finally went unconscious.That was the only time of relief.

The media continually played the image of me writhing in pain and all the beer cans. My blood alcohol count was 0.24. My father was a somewhat influential man and this unwanted publicity embarrassed him greatly. He and my mother were the only ones who could care for me in my broken state. My pelvis was broken in 18 places and I physically could not move. This was a good thing, because after the 3 weeks stay in the hospital, I was moved back to my parents' home with a hospital bed and I knew where the guns were. Believe me, if I could have moved, I would have been dead. So, I laid in traction and watched the leaves grow on the trees in spring, fall off in winter and the first snowflakes fall before I could move again. I learned all about bed sores and the embarrassment of having your mother wipe your seat every day. I did not have a TV and all of the electronic devices to entertain me since they did not exist at the time. All I could do was look out the window and think. I could not cope with my despair for the first few months, but then the Spirit of God came upon me and asked, 'Are you done yet'? This was the initial transformation of my life. I was Born Again. This was in the fall/winter of 1992.

My Experience:

In the spring of the following year, during the night of April 18, 1993, I was sleeping when my life-changing experience occurred. You would think that the car accident was sufficient, but this event led me on a lifetime quest for answers. While sleeping, I had a dream or so I thought at the time.

I was walking on a rocky dirt road along a river with a fishing pole. The river was muddy and running high with lots of debris floating with the current. This was particularly offensive to me, as this type of water impedes the vision of the fish and spreads them thin. I had worked for several years as a commercial musselman catching freshwater mussels for their shells and pearls on the larger rivers in Kentucky to pay for college. Not only did I fish on these rivers, but I made a living working and living on the water, so I was very familiar with these river conditions.

As I walked along the river, I noticed a very large spring, flowing into the river that extended about a quarter of a mile. It is very typical that the springs flow clear as their source comes from underground and the surface flow is muddy. I thought to myself that this might be a good place to fish today. I walked toward the mouth of the spring and upstream to its source. The spring was coming from a large rock, or rock embankment. The water was magnificent and crystal clear with a very large, deep pool at its source. I squatted down to just stay a minute or so to marvel at this spring. In this particular area, the water was like glass and very calm. Then a small fish jumped out of the water. As the fish fell back into the water, it created perfect, concentric circles rippling from the point of impact to the bank of the river. I decided that I wanted to fish in this spring area, but I don’t like to trespass on other people’s property. So, I decided to find the owner and ask permission.

I proceeded out of the spring area and a balding man with a ring of hair around his head, was approaching me next to a Large Tree. His gleeming eyes almost looked as if he knew me, but I did not recognize him. I asked him if I could fish in the spring and he said it would cost me $6. I laughed and pulled out my wallet and noticed that I only had $5. I gave him the five dollars and was going to ask if that would be enough. Then two large white, winged angels grabbed me from behind on each arm and threw me to the ground. I refused to be handled like that, so I decided to wrestle with them.

I was being held down with my my stomach on the ground, but could move my head to see what was going on. I noticed there was something going on in the crystal blue sky. There was a vortex, or two-dimensional swirl that was rotating in a clockwise direction that opened up to reveal a 3-dimensional space in another realm. There was an intense Light that was blinding at first. As my eyes adjusted, I could start to understand what was going on. The Light was so intense and distracting that I stopped struggling because I was so afraid and didn't know what was happening. As this space opened up, it was like an inverted cone or funnel with the large end closest to me. I did not go to the space. Rather, this space came towards me and consumed my surroundings. The cone was made up with a multitude of angels. There were thousands, or maybe millions of them. I could only see their upper torso area and heads, but I did not focus on them as there was something even more important going on. The angels were singing this unbelievable music, in a tone or octave that isn’t possible with human voices. The unearthly music sounded very familiar since I recognized it. The music was like a chorus singing praises to the Lord God (in English), the Lamb of God.

At the small area that would let fluids pass in a normal funnel, which is the apex of the cone, I saw the source of this intense, unbelievable Light. There was a Man at the end of the funnel who was standing there acting as a type of Gatekeeper. This Man approached me, or I was approaching the apex of the funnel, and this intense Light was originating from behind Him. The Light passed around His shoulders and under His arms as He had His arms held outward toward me. This Light was also coming from His eyes. The sight was absolutely incredible. I now know who it was, as the angels were singing about Him. It was Jesus Christ.

Discussion:

I wrote this down after it happened, 26 years ago, so I could remember it happened. Click here. I do recall getting the order of events mixed-up while writing, but did not want to rewrite it a second time. I did not write the details as I did above, because I had no idea of its significance, and basically had very little understanding about religion or religious figures. Prior to my accident, all I cared about was girls and beer. I did not know at the time that the Lamb of God was Jesus Christ. I certainly had no idea of the meaning or significance of what just happened. It turns out that it didn’t really matter if I wrote it down or not because it was etched into my brain and I continue to relive the experience on a regular basis. It has taken me decades to put this all together and I am not sure if I completely understand everything. For instance, I still don't understand about the whirlpool. Jesus and the angels would be expected, but the most outstanding aspect of this experience was the Light. It was overwhelming, but what exactly was it? How could I have heard music before that is not even humanly possible to create? These two questions really motivated me into learning about spirituality. I really don’t like that term, as the spirit and the flesh are tied together in this world because one influences the other and vice-versa. This may be disturbing to some, but it has taken many years of study and a number of experiences in both, the good and evil realms. These experience continue to happen to me. I never had these experiences prior because of what I believe was my health condition. I am a scientist and mathematician and none of this fits into my reality, but I am forced to acknowledge these events as they have affected me and my family in a number of physical ways. I must say, there was a form of duality within this experience as I was represented in separate locations and possibly different times and so was Jesus Christ. Like two or three different aspects of our nature and, of course, my sinful nature was included.

This is what I now believe about my experience:

1) The muddy river was MY life – filled with sin.

2) The Water flowing from the Rock was the Living Waters of the Word (Bible).

3) The Rock was Jesus Christ.

4) The Large Tree was the Tree of Life (Eternal). Genesis 1:22

5) The bald man was Satan- telling me that I had to buy or earn my Salvation (To eat from the Tree of Life and drink the Waters). I will never have enough money, and neither will you! He knew and was familiar with me as I was caught in the flesh (That tempting and alluring glimmer in his eyes) but I did not recognize him.

6) The Man in the Light was Jesus Christ. He was the Gatekeeper. No one can access God except through Him.

7) The Light is God.

8) The fish was me - ripples were the effect I have on people by loving them. Love is very important, and I will write a little about this later.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: April 18, 1993

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Other: Stopped breathing and circulation stopped while sleeping

I have had a chronic disease my entire life, but was unaware of my issues at the time. I have Celiac Disease or an allergy to wheat that was causing inflammation throughout my body causing a number of issues. I had skin rashes, my hair was falling out, connective tissue disease, ulcers within my mouth from gum inflammation, chronically infected molars and nail cuticles, vision variance from good to poor depending on my diet (from inflammation in the eyes), yellow toe nails, severe depression, complete lack of emotions (have not cried for 20 years). This disease was causing inflammation everywhere, including my brain. The reason I say this, is that after my diagnosis and I eliminated wheat from my diet, my depression completely disappeared. I couldn’t feel sad if I tried. My emotions came raging back and now I can cry at a drop of a hat. I did not come up with a diagnosis until the age of 45. My wife would tell me that I would stop breathing for minutes at a time and it scared her. As the disease advanced, I could not walk around the house without losing my breath. I thought that I was going to die, it was almost like an anaphylactic reaction. I believe these issues opened a door to another realm. I really cannot explain it. After my experience I could not feel my body, my blood began to flow and sensation came back to my body. My whole body felt like when you slept on your arm and it goes to sleep. My arm went totally numb and I couldn’t move it. When feeling returns and blood-flow is resumed, I had a severe prickly sensation which is quite painful. I have come to the conclusion that my breathing and circulation stopped for some reason. It was not clinically diagnosed, as it happened when I was asleep. Not being able to move or feel my body was very distressing after the experience.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Same

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It was just like reality. It was like walking down the street; feeling and hearing everything around me. It was no different than life itself

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. This is one aspect that could be different. My vision has never been very good at long distances due to my health issues at the time of the experience. After eliminating wheat from my diet, I no longer have to use corrective lenses. My vision was perfect in the experience. I could distinctly make out the concentric circles from a distance and that never would have happened in my earthly reality.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. No difference.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain. There was an inverted cone or funnel. I'm not sure if I passed through it or it engulfed me.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Well, I saw many different things. One aspect was the multitude of angels that I saw from a distance. All I could see was the upper torso and heads of the angels from a distance. But I didn't pay much attention to their details as there was so much going on, and I wanted to know about the figure that was approaching me. I did get a glimpse of the angels that held me down, but really just the fact that they were white and had very large wings in a human like form. They grabbed me from behind.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes

Did you see an unearthly light?

This Light has been a main focus of my time looking for answers. I have searched in many locations including science and religion. There just is no way to explain it otherwise. I have studied science for many years including astronomy, geology, physics, biology, and chemistry. The potential for storage of information within the light spectrum is somewhat understood as we use fiber optics currently to transmit info in real time. Light is just perplexing and fascinating (Water is also fascinating as it is one of the most unique substances in the universe and is typically associated with God’s Word, symbolically). We know, through physics, that as one approaches the speed of light time slows down allowing strange things to happen. If you reach the speed of light, time stops. This is very interesting to me, as if time stops, can you be in two places at once? There is a theory called Quantum Entanglement, in which Einstein came up with and disputed as he said 'God does not play dice with the universe' relating to the random probabilities of a particles speed and exact location. Einstein was pretty much an atheist, but this statement recognizes his lack of understanding of what is going on in the universe or the lack of the capacity to mathematically define it in comparison to known physical laws. Well, it has been proven through many experiments that particles, including photons, can exist in two different locations at the exact same time (some at significant distances from itself) when they exceed the speed of light. The nations (including us) have spent billions of dollars trying to detect distortions in space-time and just recently this has been accomplished through the LIGO project. So, what am I getting at? This has helped me understand a couple of things that could very well be within the realm of possibilities. I have always wondered why, in 2 Peter 3:8, Peter states that 'With the Lord, one day is the same as 1000 years and 1000 years is the same as one day'. Why is there an AND? It states the converse, but WHY? It helps us understand some of the complexities of God, He is not restricted by time at all, but why or how?

The only explanation that I could ever come up with is in the Bible, no other religion talks about the Light. Over and over, the Bible speaks of Light which has given me much insight to my experience. 1 John 1:5-9 states that 'God is Light'. This makes sense, as He is not dictated by time, thus the conjunction 'and'. This also opens up the possibility of a 'duality' in our existence. I have really struggled with how I had heard this music before as it just was not humanly possible. This duality would allow this to occur, just as the possibility of a 'life review', or the perception of reincarnation, and the potential of understanding vast amounts of knowledge (as we know that light can store knowledge). When you die, your soul passes into the Light which is not dictated by time giving the opportunity to go back and experience events and even feel the emotions of others during particular critical events (life review). It is also within the realm of possibilities of meeting people that have not been born in your perceived, linear timeframe, such as a future child or your future self (because they are not dictated by time – they are in the Light). So, basically, you have a functional duality where one of them is not dictated by time – but you are still the same individual. For example, I live my life, die, and hear the angels singing – then my soul (timeless light), during my lifetime, remembers hearing this music prior to death. A form of being in two different places at once. The capacity for a soul to experience another soul’s life experiences during a different time – similar to the life review – could lead someone to believe they actually lived two different lifetimes, but in actuality, just experienced someone else’s life or part of their life for whatever reason. This could lead to the feelings of being reincarnated, but in reality, no. This Light I experienced was nothing short of magnificent, and we will all experience the Light, but some will be cast into the outer darkness (the void) with the angels (demons) that were also cast from the Light. I just cannot discount the Bible, it has too many answers about this Light. Acts 9:1-19 is Apostle Paul’s conversion. This is clearly an interaction with this Light. The transfiguration of Jesus in Matthew 17:2. Jesus was 'transfigured before them; His face shining as the sun, and His garments became white as the Light'. I challenge you, if you have experienced this Light, to just Google 'light' KJV if you are looking for answers. Here are a few more verses concerning the Light, but there are many more:

New Testament: Ephesians 5:14, 1 John 2:8-10, John 8:12, John 12:36, John 3:19, John 12:35-37, Luke 11:36, 2 Corinthians 4:6, Matthew 4:16, James 1:17, 1 Peter 2:9, Revelations 21:23 (there are many more).

Old Testament: Isaiah 60:19, Isaiah 9:2, Psalms 27:1, Genesis 1 (there are many more).

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Anger while being held down, fear when the intense light came (I didn't understand what was happening), peace and joy when I heard the music. Unbelievable.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future This is an aspect of the experience that has been difficult to understand. My past life was the muddy river riddled with debris (sin). My current life, at the time of the experience, was the opportunity of redemption of sin through Jesus Christ (eat from the Tree of Life), my future life was that of the small fish living in the Waters of the Word creating small ripples of love for the people around me. Just a beautiful representation.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant I was forced to go to church for the first 18 years of my life, but basically had no interest in church at the time. I did believe in God though. I would have called myself a Christian, but my complete lack of knowledge and interest impeded any progress. I was just interested in beer and girls.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I have become much more devout pretty quickly

What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant Mature Christian

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I did not have any particular beliefs at the time. I was forced to go to church until I was 18 and never went back until many years later. I did believe in God, but that was pretty much the extent of it.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Born-Again Christian with a large change towards faith and belief system. This would never have happened otherwise.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin Jesus Christ was the one in the Light. The Light was shining all around Him and through His eyes. I did not know who He was at the time due to my lack of understanding of Christianity. He did not talk to me, but had His arms outward as if to embrace me. The only reason I knew who He was was by the lyrics of the chorus music being sang by the multitude of angels. I also encountered Satan, represented by the bald man. Unfortunately, he knew me very well. But I did not recognize him as is the case for humans.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes Jesus Christ was the one in the Light. The Light was shining all around Him and through His eyes. I did not know who He was at the time due to my lack of understanding of Christianity. He did not talk to me, but had His arms outward as if to embrace me. The only reason I knew who He was was by the lyrics of the chorus music being sang by the multitude of angels. I also encountered Satan, represented by the bald man. Unfortunately, he knew me very well. But I did not recognize him as is the case for humans.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life This completely changed my life. I have searched for answers since this experience and it has driven me to search beyond just physical, measurable items. The experiences just have not stopped with this particular event. Not only have I had to try to make sense of a good experience, I have had to deal with the flip side. These demonic or evil influences are very scary and I don't want them to get out of hand, so I have tried to learn more about the Light to use it to overcome this darkness that approaches me from time to time. These are totally external events, almost like assaults or mocking type behavior that shocks me with total fear. I have learned to keep my senses about me so I don't freak out. They are so out of normal; I just don't talk to anyone about them. Coming to terms with these things has become a priority. Whatever you do, don't think that evil does not exist in the realm of the soul. Some angels and human souls have been cast from the Light into the outer darkness and they are scary and this world is their playground. There is real Power in Jesus Christ, believe me.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The music was unbelievable, there are no words to explain the tone, beauty. There is nothing like it within this world. Human voices cannot create such choral music. During the winter time near Christmas, I try and go to all the local Christmas Cantatas. Sometimes I will hear a voice that comes close to what I heard and bam, I am looking for the source and the memory just hits me of that music. Sometimes I wonder why my wife doesn't ask me why I want to go and listen to all the music. I am still searching; I want to hear it again. Crazy, huh?

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. Yes, this event occurred prior to my wedding. I remember every single detail of my experience, but cannot do the same on one of the most import days of my life - marrying my wife. It is burned in my memory

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Yeah, just freaky stuff that will make me sound crazy.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? It was all very meaningful.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes 22 years before I told anyone. The first person I told was a woman in her 80's that was brave enough to tell me the night after her baptism when she was 16 years old she was on her knees praying in her bedroom and a Light appeared in her room and in the Light was Jesus Christ hanging on the cross and she wept. Tears came to her eyes as she was telling me this because she said Satan stole this from her as she was afraid to tell anyone for 50 years. Well, I told her my story as I just couldn't leave her like that. She 100% believed me and it inspired her in her walk with Christ. I have since told one of my Christian friends, but no one in my family.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain I don't ever recall hearing anything about these things at my age.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was just like you walked outside your house and two people grabbed you, the feeling of being held by hands, the fear. Man, all i can say is it was real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It was real as real can be.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I had another positive experience that has perplexed me for many years, but I do not recall the paralyzing effect of the first experience. It was also at night while I was sleeping. During the experience I was in a grey misty, overcast type looking environment standing in knee deep Water. I had two of my 3 children, one on either side of me and we were walking in the Water. My wife was not present. I do not know which two of the three children were with me, probably for a reason. I was an adult. The three of us were walking through this water towards a large group of children (maybe 30) that were playing or interacting with a Dolphin in the water. As we approached the group of children, I did not look at their faces because the Dolphin began to speak to me by name. He told me to grab a hold of Him so I did leave my two children with the others. The Dolphin took off with me holding onto the dorsal fin really fast passing through the water gracefully. He then went underwater and I was trying to hold my breath, but I just could not any longer, and I took a deep breath of water and realized I could breathe underwater. The Dolphin proceeded to a Light underwater. As I looked closer it was a magnificent city. I then came back or woke up. This one also took me a long time to understand. I was researching the significance of Dolphins on a Catholic website, and finally found out that the Dolphin was the symbol for Jesus Christ during the era of Crucifixion. This blew my mind. The Waters were the Waters of the Word, and Christ held me under and washed me until I had to take it inside of me (Breathe the Water in). There are a few more things about this, but I'm running out of time. My Christian friend had a very similar dream but he was carried by and Eagle and held under water until he was forced to take a breath. The Eagle is a representation of a King (Christ). It just has taken years to put all this together.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I can't think of anything else. Thanks

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? You might want to think about experiences that occur outside of a physical death scenario.