Susan R NDE

Experience Description

1973. I was in Hanau Germany with my husband, he was in the army, and I had a four year old daughter and a three year old son. I was three months pregnant, started to bleed. My husband took me to the army base clinic. The doctor said I was losing the baby and bleeding too much. He could not stop it, so they put me in an ambulance and sent me up to Frankfurt's Army hospital, which was fifty miles away. They could not stop the bleeding. I remember the attendant saying to the other attendant that he was losing my blood pressure and pulse. When they opened the ambulance's doors to take me out into the hospital, I had bled so much that the blood poured out of the floor of the ambulance like a slow waterfall.

That is when I noticed that I was watching myself. I saw all that went on from above myself, out of myself like I was floating. There was no sense of pain, cold, heat, or fear, or no real sense that I was alive or dead. I watched them push me very fast into the hospital, and put me on a gurney. They were screaming, 'Get the doctor, we have no pulse.' The doctor came and looked at me. He did a few things, and said, 'Get her up to surgery, OB-GYN, I cannot do anything for her here.' So, they started running down the hall to the elevator. I was floating over all this. I was thinking, 'Wait, my husband is not here. I am okay. What are you guys doing?' We got into the elevator, and up to some floor. Then they took me into a small room. Another doctor came in and put my legs up. He took an instrument off a windowsill. I was thinking, 'No way! That thing is dirty.' Everybody was doing everything so fast, getting me ready, trying to start an IV, cutting my clothes off. Then the doctor said, 'Stop! She's gone. The only reason she has stopped bleeding is that she has no more blood left.'

I think that is when I realized I was dead. Everyone left the room, covered me, and told an E4 to call to the morgue. At that time when everything became so quiet, I heard birds and quiet laughter. Everything was so surreal. I heard my brothers talking. They had had died a few years before. I could not make out what they were saying; I just knew I recognized their voices. I turned and saw them, but I still could not understand what they were saying. There was no sadness, no worry, no regrets that I was leaving my kids and husband. Then I looked back over my shoulder and saw myself on that bed with blood everywhere.

There was this young nurse who was talking to my body on that bed. She was saying, 'I am going to try and save you. If it does not work, oh, well!' She hung a bag of blood on the IV and put a blood pressure cuff around it and started pumping it up. I remember trying to yell at her. I tried to tell her, 'Stop! Please stop! I do not want to come back!' I struggled with that for a long time. Why would I not want to come back? My kids were my life. Before I married my last husband, it was just them and me for a long time. I thought there was nobody that could love or care for them as good or as much as I did. I now know that God would have cared for them.

Anyways, this nurse pumped one bag of blood and started a new one. I had turned back to go to my brothers, and it was then I heard another voice - a voice I had never heard, so warm, it surrounded you, it touched you, it was love. He was telling me it was not my time. I was on my knees and touching his robe. If love had a scent that was it, so pure. I did not look up. It was like I could not look up. I said, 'I do not want to go back!' I begged. At this time, I began to understand my brother's words. They said, 'Come here sister.' I remember that I did not want to let go of God's hem. My oldest brother took my hand. I looked down at myself on that bed. I looked back at my other brother, my twin, and he said, 'They need you, go.'

At that second, I was back in my body and with severe chest pains. I was trying to pull out the IV because I thought she was giving me the wrong blood. The nurse jumped back and said (I will never forget, so please forgive me, but you must remember it was the army) She said. 'Fuck - you're alive!' I said, 'Yes and get this blood out of my arm it is killing me.' She stopped me and yelled out the door for the doctor. He came in. She was saying, 'She is alive!' He said, 'Stand down soldier, she is dead.' But then he saw I was not dead and he freaked out. My chest pain they said was because I had a dry chamber heart and when the blood hit it the muscle cramped.

Of course, they said I was never dead. They had told my husband when he got to the hospital, that I was dead. He had the kids, so he just had to go back home. He did not know that I was alive until three hours later, when someone from his company came to our door. We did not have a phone then. I know I was dead, it has happened to me three more times, each time about the same.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: '1973,1982'

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Childbirth '#1 miscarriage,' Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) Bleed out from miscarriage.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal When I turned around and heard God.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I turned around and heard God.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning It was not earth.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything looked so pure, smelled like you would think love smelled.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It took a while for me to understand the voices, like I had to tune everything else out.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes My brothers, and who I thought was God.

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I don,t know it was just like you had no weight..every thing soft,like the womb,,i remember,,it feeling like I was touchig the walls of my mothers womb befor I was born

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Latter day saint

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I really knew there was a God after.

What is your religion now? Moderate

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I really knew there was a God after.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes It was to where I was to go after I died.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Love, forgive, do more for others, be kinder to the suffering of all.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? That you will go when you are called - and I do not fear death.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes To many, some said, maybe, most just looked at me.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real No different, maybe I tried to live every day better, love more, enjoy more, my faith became more clear.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I was there, it happened, it was real.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No