Sydney L NDE

Experience Description

We were at the top of the stairs, my older brother, my older sister, and me. My brother as usual was heckling us. My mother was occupied downstairs in the kitchen, and didn't stop telling us to stop messing around. Suddenly, my brother pushed me, I lost my balance and fell.

I saw myself cascading down the stairs like a rag doll. I was out of my body and floating above the stairs. I saw my brother, sister, and mother screaming while taking me in her arms at the bottom of the stairs. Meanwhile, I was up above and didn't understand a thing. She was screaming at them and crying for me, without me understanding anything as I was above them and could see everything. I remember sitting at the top step of the stairs, then I was sleeping, and then, still without understanding anything, I was reintegrated into my body.

I told my mother that I was okay and that I saw everything from above steps. She never believed me because I wasn't hurt. She returned to work.

I never forgot that moment. Did it change the course of my life? Yes, for sure. At the age of three years old, so many people tell me that they have no memories whatsoever of their childhood. While for me the memories still are very present as if I would still live in that time. I was only three years old, didn't go to school yet, and I only went to the square with my mother.

A second phenomenon during my fourth pregnancy leaves me questioning when I found myself in reanimation. I have difficulties speaking about that, not being sure anymore concerning the external vision of what others might think of it.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: plus de 40 ans

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident. Other: je jouais avec mon grand frère et ma grande sœur en haut de l'escalier. At my very young age and this big stairs of a mansion that I cascaded down to the bottom, and in my memory not on my feet.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? As soon as I started falling down the stairs I left my body and floated above everybody; my brother, and my sister, going down the stairs to catch me and my mother coming to catch me, but they all arrived only when I had reached the last step. I think that at my young age, there was no substance interfering with my state of consciousness or my lucidity.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual For me my feeling was of a slowing up, everything in slow motion, like picture by picture in my memory, and it wasn't until the end of my 'fall' that suddenly before reintegrating into my body, everything accelerated.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Concerning that question, it is hard for me to answer it, as it is far back in time. The memory that I have is this blur correlated to clarity of the facts and the doings of beneath me.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My mother, being a person with a strong voice, I perceived her like through cotton wool, she had not the same decibel level as when I came back to consciousness.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Void

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain I don't remember precisely, while thinking yes; as the place was dark and suddenly it was illuminated.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place For a little girl this was already quite impressive and there were not all those explanations of today, and even less the listening of my parents in front of this experience.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I didn't understand anything, I saw them all, I talked to them, but they didn't hear me and I was frustrated. I was flying above them, but wasn't noticed by my family.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I believe that seeing my mummy suffering and screaming, I didn't want to leave her, as she was so sad holding me inert in her arms.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will As a child seeing my mother crying and embracing me, while I was above and didn't profit of any real embrace; I was only three years old.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Unknown

What was your religion prior to your experience? Do not know

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Moderately important to me

What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic non pratiquante, mais mariée à deux reprises à l'église et six enfants baptisés mais moi je n'ai jamais pu obtenir le baptême.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I had not yet any, at the time.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I never forgot what I experienced and I always kept it for me, as my mother at the time didn't believe me. I always wanted to move closer to God without ever being able to succeed.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I believe it is not normal to remember one’s small childhood, if I refer to quite a number of people. In nursery school, and the periods of rejection following these events gave me much suffering, and I remember that I had a time of self-confinement which created a great worry to my parents, about me.

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? Unknown

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists No

Did you fear death prior to your experience? Unknown

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Unknown

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Unknown

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life. My father died, my elder sister died and my brother rejected my mother. I think that God predestined me to care for her with everything that this includes.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain I think so, I have the impression that I'm a misunderstood person; I was rejected, it was only my older sister and my younger sister, and the child in the middle had no place.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I keep real memories of the time: like the choice of my shoes, my going/returning to a girlfriend living next door; the morning when my mother put on my shoes; the room that I shared with my brother and my sisters; the plots that we had for many things.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I don't know as I was too young, but I know that family is a factor that made me get back to my place on the step and reintegrate into my body.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Many years later, more than 40 years, and with people that didn't laugh at and who told me their own experiences that I also believe; even if they don't fit my story. There was listening and exchange without any judgment, and that's important!

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was present in my mind and my parents were talking in front of me as if I wasn't existing; while I understood that they didn't believe what I said.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I'm now 50 years old, and I still see my fall, but why?

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain While reanimated following a pneumothorax when I was 4 months pregnant, I was cyanotic and experienced the same, but without leaving my body, or at least I have still some doubts about that.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I see; I hear; I want to talk, but can't; I want to move, but I can't. I'm carrying my child and I refuse to let us die.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Well for people in my case, everything is not always evident, but I believe that I could answer accordingly.