Tawny S NDE

Experience Description

The date was Saturday June 5th, 2021. It was a particularly beautiful summer day in Ohio. Hot, not too humid, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. My best friend and her partner were visiting home from out of state, and it was also my cousins birthday, and we were all going kayaking. There was a big group of family and friends going for the birthday celebration. We arrived at the river later than the rest of the group, and all of them had already taken off down the river. My husband and I had reservations for a kayak (which I had done a couple of times prior to this day), but since we were so late, all they had available was a canoe. I had never canoed before, but nonetheless I wasn't worried and I was excited.

When we started down the river, I realized quickly that canoeing was actually much different than kayaking. I felt unsteady, and we had a few times where we were very off balance. I was in the front seat, my husband in the back. Since all of our family had started so much earlier, we were kind of rushing to try to catch up to them. I wasn't wearing my life jacket.. in fact, nobody was. It was a small little river, not super deep water, and we were told on the bus ride there that we had to take them out on the river with us, but it was up to us if we wanted to wear them. The bus driver even made a joke about how nobody ever wears them, but that they couldn't be held liable for any accidents (in a joking matter of course, everyone laughed.)

Everything was going mostly okay for the first mile out of our five mile trip. A few times we seemed like we might tip, but we managed to stay afloat. That was, until we hit a current. This happened so fast that it's hard to recall exactly what went wrong, but in the blink of an eye our canoe was tipped upside down and I was trapped underneath. It didn't take too terribly long for me to get out from underneath the canoe, but the problem didn't end there. At this point, I had inhaled water into my lungs from screaming and fighting to get back up to safety. I would get up for a split second, and then I would get sucked back under again.

I realized in this moment that I was literally drowning and that if I wanted any chance to live I was going to have to fight for my life, and I hoped someone would be able to save me or that someone around knew how to preform CPR. It is mind boggling how in such a short period of time, my brain moved so quickly with a million thoughts. I could not breath at all, and fighting became harder and harder.

I was so cold. I could not see anything - I basically felt blind. I couldn't hear much, just the sounds of water, like what you hear when you dunk your head under a swimming pool. In this moment, I began thinking about my family - I vividly envisioned my husband picking up my lifeless body, the couple across the river calling an ambulance, my best friend finding out the horror that had happened when she caught up to us, and them having to tell the rest of the family a few miles down the river that I was gone. I still can't even understand to this day how I could possibly think about so many things in such a short period of time, but I still remember it like it was yesterday. I saw my mother and siblings finding out I was gone, for a second it made me so heartbroken, but I had this overwhelming feeling I can't explain where I knew that everyone would get through it and be okay without me. I couldn't believe I was leaving and that I wouldn't see my family, my dog, my friends again. I had so many plans for my life, why was this happening to me?

I saw the brightest light I have ever seen in my life. It was whiteish yellow, and I do believe it was on my way to the gate of Heaven to meet our creator. I never did see anyone I know that has passed over, though I did think about how I was about to meet them. I did not see God, I do not think I got that far before my life was miraculously saved, but I did hear Him. I heard a voice tell me "It is not time yet," and before I knew it I finally, (after what seemed like an eternity, although in reality this all happened very fast), heard my husband very close to me screaming at me telling me that there was a branch close by I could reach out and grab to help keep me above the water. I could not see a single thing, but as I flailed my arms, there was the branch. I grasped it for dear life and pulled my body out of the water with what seemed like a super human strength, as my body at this point was so weak and frail.

It was very chaotic when I finally could breathe again. I was shivering, coughing so hard, and vomiting creek water and blood. My chest felt so heavy, I was so weak, and so incredibly tired. My husband threw me my life jacket at this point and gathered all of my items that were floating down the river. Our canoe had so much water in it that it had pretty much sunk, and he had to drag it out and tip it to get the water out. At this point I realized I had to get back into that thing and still had 3 miles more to go, after it had just almost killed me. This part of my experience was very traumatic, because of course I did not want to die and I knew that I had come so close. But, it is very important that I stress that my actual NDE was quite peaceful - once I saw the light, I did have a sense of comfort come over me where I knew that if it was time, that it was going to be ok. I do feel like I had an out of body experience - and seeing visions of my family finding out, hearing God.. these images and sounds would not leave my head as I got my limp, cold body back into that canoe for round 2.

We eventually met up with the rest of the family down the river and they were all shocked at my appearance, and asked "What happened to you?" They were all still dry, happy and having a good time - but I was soaked from head to toe, my makeup running all over my face, my outfit dripping wet, my face pale. I was still so shaken that it was truly a hard thing to explain, but I tried, and I was laughed at. Nobody understood me - they thought I was being dramatic and told me the water isn't even deep enough to drown in. They did not understand that I was stuck under for some time and inhaled water into my lungs.. but anyways, I was way too exhausted to argue their doubts. I stopped trying to convince anyone of my out of body experience and NDE, because it really is still a hard thing for me to talk about anyways, and being dismissed and wrote off by my own family was even more painful for me. I included this into my story because I want readers who are seeing this to make sure they NEVER write off someones experience if they tell them that this happened to them.. for us, it is already so traumatic and hard to move on after, and not being supported makes it a million times worse. Someone should not have to be pronounced dead for you to believe that this happened to them. It is very real, and extremely stressful when you have No one to share it with.

In the weeks following the experience I had some appointments with my PCP, one was for her to let me know of all of the signs to watch out for secondary drowning, another for the extreme amount of anxiety I was encountering. Every night when I shut my eyes to go to sleep for at least a week, I heard the water noises in my ears and would wake up feeling like I could not breath. I had a medication prescribed to help me get through the nights, but I tried to avoid taking it. I did not want to add another factor into the mental pain I was already dealing with. To this day- I am still very scared of ever getting back in a canoe, still very scared of water, and unfortunately, still looked down upon and mocked for the events of that day.

Overall, my experience was both traumatic and peaceful.. I saw what it was like to die, and that part was the best part of the whole experience, because I knew that if I crossed over I would not have to fight anymore, and I knew the place I was going was SO beautiful, safe and peaceful. It was a harsh reality coming back to this lifetime and then being made fun of for surviving. A couple more seconds and a different outcome and surely nothing would have been funny. Please.. if you have a family or friend who has told you they had an NDE.. believe them, comfort them. They are going through more than you can possibly imagine.

The last thing I will touch on is that my faith in God grew exponentially after my NDE. He saved me - He is the one that gave me this second chance. I heard His beautiful voice tell me that it was not my time yet and I am still here now, and my life is so beautiful. I was gifted a second chance because I believe I still have a greater purpose here and I am forever thankful for that. Thank you to my best friend who always has listened to me from day one, my parents and siblings who have comforted me while I have cried what feels like a million tears, and listened to me month after month talk about how hard it is for me to understand what happened to me that day. I am forever grateful for all of you, and most importantly thank you Jesus for saving me and giving me the opportunity to truly live again. I feel more alive now than I did before June 5th, 2021. He saved me, physically and spiritually, and that is a testimony I will preach forever.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 06/05/2021

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Drowning Life threatening event, but not clinical death I was drowning.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I had visions of some really heartbreaking things like my family and friends finding out that I did not make it. I also envisioned my whole family, my friends, my husband, my dog, everything so fast. It's like I was physically blind, but my brain was playing those memories and visions of them for me. I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Everything made sense. It was blissful. The light was beautiful. The outcome didn't seem to matter as much.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? At the time I felt like I was passing over and going to Heaven.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual It all happened so fast that it's very hard to explain

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I felt like I was blind during my experience. I could not see anything.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Since I was drowning, all I heard was water noises. Until I heard the voice tell me it wasn't time which was very clear, and then after that I could hear the world again.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I saw a very bright unearthly light, but I do not recall a tunnel.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was the brightest light I have ever seen. It was beautiful.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. I did not enter fully, but I know the light was associated with the after life, and I was brought back to Earth before getting all the way there.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? First fear, then sadness, then a short moment of bliss.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe. This experience changed who I am as a person forever. When I heard God and had this new found confidence in our purpose in life, after analyzing it for the whole past year, it is the most beautiful feeling of unity you could ever imagine.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future I believe I just saw what was going to happen in worst case scenario ( me dying ) and those parts of the experience were traumatic for me. It seemed so real.

Did you come to a border or point of No return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will This is when I was told that it wasn't my time yet, and then I could see again on earth and the light i saw was gone.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic I grew up Catholic, but was never involved in the church and did not have particularly strong beliefs. I would have told you that I was a spiritual person and believed in God, but I did not know much beyond that.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I was saved.

What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian I now consider myself a Christian and am very involved in my new church. I dove so deep into my faith after my experience and it truly changed my life.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I did believe in God, but was unsure about a lot of details. I never had to question again after this day.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Just strengthened my faith overall and left me with No doubts.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I 100% heard God tell me it was not my time to go yet.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes After I heard God I knew I never had to doubt anything again.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes Hearing Him, and him immediately giving me the second chance to live again.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes I believe I was going to Heaven to live eternally with our Creator.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life God saved me and I owe my life to Him forever.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain I am more grateful. I think I am a better person as a result.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It is still extremely traumatic to talk about drowning for me, but also very complicated to explain something that is so supernatural like an NDE.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. Time after that day seemed a little irrelevant to be honest, for the first few weeks after. I feel like my thoughts were consumed by it.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The feeling of peace I had before I was sent back that it would be okay and to not be scared.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I explained this in detail in my story. Most people did not believe me and that was extremely painful for me, and really still is to this day. NDE's come with so many emotions and overwhelming feelings and most people that were present that day with me did not support me at all. I was very grateful for my family back home who helped me heal from my experience emotionally.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain I had heard of them but never even thought twice about it and wasn't sure how real they were.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I believed it of course, but after so many people around me told me they didn't believe it, that was a very hard painful pill to swallow.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I have had so much time to think about it and my story has never changed. It was real then and is still real now.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Lots of dreams, or nightmares about drowning.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I have explained it as well as I could.