Taylor NDE

Experience Description

I'm 30 years old now, and I had a near death experience when I was 14. I can still remember it SO vividly, like it was yesterday. I've done a lot of drugs over the years, including hallucinogens and still nothing has come even close to what I felt or saw that day. I'm not religious. I was just a teenager being stupid while drinking and driving with my older friends. The imagery is forever burned into my brain like a photo.

I was in a head-on car crash where I was the unlucky one who was critically injured while everyone else walked away with a few scratches. I was revived by paramedics in the ambulance. I remember the moment right before the impact where I saw it coming and only had the fraction of a second to realize it.

For about 5 to 10 seconds, I still felt like I was riding in the car, like nothing happened. Then, I felt a sharp pain on my forehead and in the sides of my stomach. I started to raise my hand up to my head to feel what was hurting and say something to my friend, but I couldn't talk. I saw her driving, yet I simultaneously heard screaming and metal twisting. It's like my mind was one step behind reality. The pain I felt was from the impact but my brain was stuck in the moment just before.

Then I got tunnel-vision. It was dark and sparkly while my ability to see anything disappeared. For a moment, it was completely dark but my hearing was still there. I heard voices yelling and crying, shouting; and finally I heard sirens. I couldn't react or think about anything, I just listened. I had no capacity for emotion or to form thoughts about what was happening.

That's when I heard this sound that more in the foreground than any other sound. It started quiet but got louder and louder until it turned into a roar. The best comparison is a freight train that was putting on the breaks mixed with loud crackling like lightening. Suddenly, my vision was back and in full HD color. I can't describe the colors because I've never seen them before. I was somewhere else, completely unearthly. It was so incredible that I really struggle to put it into words. I've told a few people this over the years and they always sound skeptical. I've tried drawing this place on paper because I remember exactly what it looked like, even 16 years later. I have searched for it on Google and other places where people talk about NDE and I've never found anyone who saw anything very similar. For years I've painted it over and over again, trying to recreate exactly what I saw.

The best I can describe it is two giant skies or atmospheres, split into two halves, like a split screen image with one sky on my left and the other on my right with a line down the middle separating them. Both sides were full of color. It scene was very galaxy-like and spacey. The left had bright, sunny colors like yellow, light blue, white, and soft wispy cloud-like things everywhere. The right had darker colors, but not in a bad way. They were like deep sunset colors of red, gold, burnt orange, dark purple and black. Almost like a dawn on the left and dusk on the right. And in the middle of the right side was a tall thin white structure like a column or pedestal that went so high I couldn't see the top. I never detected other people or Beings there with me. I was alone, with the urge to go forward. But I couldn't go forward. In fact, it was more like I was at the entrance to this place just watching and looking at it. I wasn't in a body, but was just floating or suspended.

The craziest part for me was the feeling of overwhelming euphoria. I didn't feel foggy or messed up in the head. I felt extremely clear, conscious, and happy. I felt so happy that it freaks me out to remember it. It was like someone had just given me the best drug never invented. I didn't think about my parents or my life. There was no fear or any negative emotion at al. I feel SO good. I thought, 'THIS FEELS SO GOOD. I AM SO HAPPY!' I looked around at the scene before me feeling surrounded by love and warmth. After a moment, I have no idea how long, my hearing returned. I could hear my friend Jessica's voice and other voices shouting. Only then did it occur to me that 'Oh yeah, I have a body in that other place right now. Man, I really like it here though. I don't know if iIwant to go back. This feels so good here.' I tried to speak but it was more of a mental thought where I was trying to tell her, 'It's ok guys, stop freaking out. I'm fine here! Y'all are overreacting, this is great! I think I want to stay here for awhile longer actually and check this place out.' I was feeling so peaceful and wished I could communicate to them that I was fine. But I wasn't fine, I was dying. But that never occurred to me, because all I could think was that I was so happy there, that I didn't ever want to leave. Then thoughts about my life entered my vision. I saw my mom's face and I thought that she'll be really sad if I stay here. She won't understand how amazing this place is. I never actually thought of it as 'this is life after death.' It was just, my body is over there somewhere, and I am here.

After another moment, I casually thought to myself, 'ya know, I can't leave like this. I don't want them to worry, so I guess I should go back. Calm down everyone, I'm comin I'm comin…' Normally, I should have been upset and freaking out where I was and what was happening. I should have wanted to come right back to my body. But that wasn't my mindset at all, I was so peaceful and casual about it. Just, 'Meh, I GUESS I'll go back.' Then I instantly saw concrete, and hands on me. I saw my shirt and bra cut off next to me. I couldn't move or speak, so I was just stuck in my head for a few minutes watching them drive me in the ambulance and try to stabilize me. I was completely paralyzed but could see and hear.

Then I started to go back and forth. My vision would get sparkly and I started to get that euphoric, happy feeling like I was leaving my body again to that place, but I would mentally fight it saying 'No, you're not going back. Focus. Look at that blue cup. Focus on the cup. Don't let yourself slip away. Move your arm, move your finger, you gotta stay.' And then my vision would normalize and I'd be back. This back and forth thing went on until I got to the hospital. Finally, I was back for good and all my senses returned eventually, including immense pain.

I've never been religious really, but that single experience is the only thing that makes me think maybe, just maybe, there is something after death. And if so, it's a very happy place. But I've never come anywhere close to experiencing anything like it again.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 2001

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident. CPR given. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) Car accident, head on collision

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness. I don't understand the question

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was in that place.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. A lot different

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Hearing was in and out

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an Unearthly light? Yes Lots

The experience included: An unearthly landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Pure Happiness

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a Boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I couldn't go forward from where I was, even though I wanted to

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Atheist

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Not important to me

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Agnostic

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I was age 14 and had never contemplated life or death prior to this.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No experience

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? I am uncertain if God exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Did you believe that our earthly lives Are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? I am uncertain if an afterlife exists Uncertain

Did you fear death prior to your experience? Unknown

Do you fear death after your experience? I moderately fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives Are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Love was all that I felt

Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? No changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes So difficult to put into words. Re-reading my description is disappointing because it just doesn't do it. The colors, the imagery, there are no English words for it.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I tried telling my friends in the hospital afterwards. They were skeptical.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real. I am aware there is a chance the chemicals in my brain ending my life may have caused my experience, but I think there is a chance it was real too. Just because of how nothing in my life has ever come close to this experience and the colors and feelings were so vivid.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was probably real. I still feel the same about it.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Just always in the back of my mind over the years. I found this site and wanted to share it.