Thomas B NDE

Experience Description

It was April, 1989 and I was 9 years old. I was riding my bicycle in Texas and in my grandparent's neighborhood. I and a neighborhood child, who was one year older than me, built a ramp to jump our bikes toward the direction of the street. As I was coming down the sidewalk to jump the ramp, the neighborhood child was waving his arms frantically in the air. I could not hear him due to the wind and speed of the bicycle, so I assumed the 2x4's holding the ramp up had fallen again. Unfortunately, I assumed wrong. He was warning me of a car coming quickly down the road. I couldn't see over the other parked cars lining the road. I had built up a lot of speed and whipped out into the road. I was hit by a large 1980s sedan. I blacked out for a while, but was told that I was thrown approximately 10-yards and landed against another parked vehicle in a driveway across the street.

When I came to my senses, I was floating approximately 30 feet above my body looking down. I could see the ambulance had arrived and I could see an EMT performing CPR on me. I saw my frantic mother and some others gathered around and watching nearby in my grandparent's yard. I felt no emotions and was very calm observing the scene below me. I felt raindrops begin to fall on my face, but I was watching myself at the same time from the air. This is hard to explain.

Slowly, I began to spin in the air in a counter-clockwise manner as I floated upward. I could see the top of the neighbor's magnolia tree that was in bloom and the tops of the other old, live oaks in the area. Then, in a flash, I was somewhere else.

In this new place I was watching myself again in what can best be described as a 3D movie of my short, 9 year-old life. I saw mostly the highlights. Sometimes I was me, sometimes I was watching from above, and sometimes I was observing from the perspective of other people involved. At the end, there was an event where I did something bad out of anger. In this instance, I was inside my body and I rejected the behavior and resisted doing it. In my mind I yelled, 'NOOO!!!' At this time, a yellowish light shot out of my chest. Many things happened all at once. The best way I can describe what happened next is that it was like I ripped apart the 3D movie of my life. I realized that the yellow light coming out of my chest hit this Being made of light and color. It threw the Being through space and into the air. Then the Being went through a crowd of other beings that were watching/participating in my life review. I then realized I was somewhere else and surrounded by these beings of light. We were in a very bright place, but the light did not hurt my eyes.

They were beautiful, had many colors swirling in their core cavity area, and a bluish light in their head area. They were partially see-through, like plasma? I was surrounded by hundreds of them. In unison they all spoke to me repeatedly saying the same thing, 'You are loved, you are welcome here.' They spoke not with words, but with thought and emotion. It was immediate understanding with knowledge when they communicated. I was partially held in place, but could move my eyes and look down. When I did, I realized I had the colors in my core area of my body just like they did. I became scared because I could not see my legs and was confused. They said in unison again multiple times, 'You are loved, you are welcome here,' until I calmed down. Additionally, when they communicated with me, their lights would connect with me and mine would connect with theirs when I thought something. Two of the beings stepped out in front of the others saying again, 'You are loved, you are welcomed here.' Then One of the two said 'welcome back' and then the other being 'shushed' the one that said 'welcome back.' This was confusing and is still confusing to this day. I realized while observing their interaction that I felt like I knew them all, but I could not figure out how.

Later in life after doing my own research, I guessed it could have been deceased loved ones, but I did not know anyone who had died in my life so maybe that is why I saw them in their spirit. I don't know if this is accurate or not.

After this confusing interaction, I was shown some things by them that I cannot remember now and was told some things I would rather keep to myself. I don't know how long I was hanging there in suspension while these interactions took place. It seemed like at least 30-minutes, but I cannot say for sure because time was strange. At the end of this interaction, all of a sudden the beings became very excited. I felt the excitement and Happiness of everyone. We were connected at this point; all of us I realized hundreds or more where present at this time. Strangely, I forgot what I was doing there suspended in this 'area' and started to feel the excitement as well. All at once, I could move my head left to right, but I could not look behind me. I was never allowed to look behind me, even when I was pulled into the space everyone else was in. I just could not turn around.

When I turned my head toward the source of the excitement, I saw a great Being at least twice the size of the others. This being was best described as a great white flame with a face and what appeared to be a human-like body of flame. This next part is hard to describe. I was looking at the Being far away and approaching. Briefly, I was face-to-face with this being, then back in the place I was held. Then I felt and heard a great voice inside me say, 'COME.' I was shot through the 'veil' I was being held in and into the place with the others. I shot through space and landed at the 'Great' Being's feet. This larger and much more powerful Being said to me one time, 'You are loved, you are accepted.' I was so amazed and distracted by this Being that I forgot what was going on and just observed the flame for a while. It moved slowly like a flame made of water and had shimmers of all colors across the flame. When I tried to see through the flame to the greater Being inside, I could not. I was blocked at this time. But I knew the Being was communicating with someone/something else.

Then, He stepped out of the flame and simply said, 'I am sorry, you must go back now.' Suddenly I was floating backward. Once I crossed the boundary I realized I was coming back to my body. For some reason, I did not want to and I yelled 'No! Wait Who are you!?' In an instant, I was pulled back to Him. He then stepped out of the flame and said with a great rumble like a thousand fog horns at once, 'This is how you see Me.' The rumbling became great and he appeared as an Old man with white hair and a beard, but with baby-like skin. I became distracted by his beard because it seemed like every single hair was full of life and, again, had the rainbow-colored shimmering across it. I was dumbfounded and just thought 'Whooooaaaaaaaa!' (like the ninja turtles I was really into at this time). I then thought, 'Beautiful Grandpa.' He could hear all my thoughts. He responded with a brief feeling of disappointment and then said, 'You must go back now; you are not finished.' I still have no idea what I am supposed to finish.

I then yelled 'Noooo! wait! nooo!' I was pushed quickly backward through the boundary. Suddenly, I was held in the dark space where I could see the other place. The great Being leaned over the edge and into the dark place I was in. He said, 'I am so sorry; you must go back. I love you' I have never felt so much sorrow or so much love in my life compared to that moment. There is nothing on earth that could ever compare to that love or that sorrow.

Immediately, I was back in my body and it was if barely any time had passed. I had a tube down my throat and I heard the EMT standing above me say, 'I got him, he is breathing.' He then said to me, 'It's OK, you are going to be OK.' I was crying and trying to move but I couldn't because they had me strapped to an orange/red emergency board being loaded into the ambulance. My mother was close as she got in the ambulance too. I was trying to say, 'No, you don't understand, I don't want to be here!' But, I couldn't get the words out because the tube was still in my throat and my mouth was covered. After the surgery on my skull which had fractured and I woke in recovery, I tried to tell my mother and the attending physician what happened. The doctor looked at my mom with a strange look and said, 'Let's step outside for a bit.' They were still in the room where I could hear them. He said to her that when, 'people have bad head injuries they can imagine things,' he talked like I was crazy. I knew then that people would think I was crazy if I told them what happened. So, I spent the next 25-years researching religions and death until I found proof enough to confirm what happened to me. It is still my most vivid memory.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 04/06/1989

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident CPR given Direct head injury. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) I was hit by a car while riding a bike and died for approximately 6 minutes before being resuscitated by an EMT. It is estimated because it is how long I was dead before the ambulance arrived

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I saw my mother and others talking and my mother being emotionally upset. I saw the ambulance, I saw and felt it begin to sprinkle rain right before I was taken someplace else. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I could hear thoughts of other beings and feel them; also see what they were thinking in my mind.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was in heaven.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. Already did this

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could see anywhere I thought to see in the place I was in. I could see minute detail and understand immediately

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The hearing was on the inside and very clear sometimes overwhelming when other beings spoke to me.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain The beings could have been deceased spirits. I felt I knew them and they knew me.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was all of it but mostly God's light. I talk to him every day. I have seen it here as an adult in the air above me one time when I was talking to Him. I just think of Him and what he looks like and he is here with me. But, there are limitations to our conversations here. Dreams are better conversations. I have had five since the event.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Everything you could think of, calm, fear, anger, and love - so much love it is hard to describe. It was like the love 'light' had power in it and it was used to hold me in place for a period of time when I was in heaven.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others No I don't want to

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control A whole life inventory took place as I described before

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future. They have since it happened, He speaks to me in dreams. But not my personal future except one dream where he told me not to drink alcohol anymore and showed me an older version of myself sitting alone, sad, drinking, unhealthy and fat. I stopped immediately drinking after that

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated. I did not believe in anything in particular, although my grandmother would occasionally speak about a God. And I occasionally went to a local church on Christmas or Easter with relatives.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I did not believe, I know now.

What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant After my experience I researched for 25 years including as a doctoral candidate what happened to me. I then found the answer to what I saw and experienced in the Old Testament and there is no denying anymore that there is a God and I have met Him.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I did not believe in God at the time. I believed in Santa Claus. That is probably why He turned into the old man with a baby face and said 'this is how you see me.' All other times He has been in His real form to me, a great white fire being with colors shimmering around Him.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I just answered this, but I have dedicated my whole life since I understood to showing love to others, helping others, and not being selfish.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I already described all of these things in detail on the first page.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes Jesus God and spirits

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I was told 'welcome back' by one of the light beings

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I was connected to all of the beings, as one, in Heaven.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I spoke with him read what I wrote in detail on a previous page

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Learn how to love others properly. This is a test to see if you are worthy. And it is never too late to stop bad behavior and turn back to love which is what we are designed for.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes I saw and spoke with God in heaven

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain. I am not supposed to talk about this

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes It is the ultimate purpose for our being at this time. In the past we had a similar purpose that we failed as humans, but to learn to love properly is what we are here for now. We are gloriously failing this as a world. He will come soon. I have spoken to him; He has confirmed that time is short.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. I became a psychologist to help others. I became ordained, I talk to God now every day almost all day long. He can hear all thoughts of everyone. Even who is reading this, He is watching and listening to everybody until all have decided what side they are on.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? I do not wish to share this.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Things exist there that don't exist here and are hard to compare to this dull world ;)

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. It is the most vivid memory I have. Second to that are the dreams He has visited me in. Everything else gets fuzzy over time.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I can feel evil and good in people and sometimes see things in them.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? All of it was meaningful

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I told my mother and a doctor immediately after. I shared with a friend once in high school, but now I talk about it whenever an opportunity arises. Time is short now.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I could not get it out of my head and never have been able to. It is written in my mind and heart forever.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I cannot deny any more to others what is the real truth of our existence and the existence of our creator. I do not just believe I know for a fact.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes When I call upon Him, He answers me. (most of the time) Sometimes He turns his back if I am being selfish or angry and waits until I get right and humble again. This is hard in this world, but I will say no more.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I think I said more than I should

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I was slightly frustrated with having to explain the same thing multiple times, when I am reliving this it is very emotional and God's presence becomes close which is overwhelming sometimes, but I am encouraged by the One who sent me back to share this now with as many as I can.

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