Todd C NDEs

Experience Description

I've died twice.

The first time, I died was only for about 3 minutes or so. I had a typical NDE such as seeing the typical bright light and feeling very peaceful.

I died for the second time about 6 years later. This was a a lot rougher and I was gone for at least 30 minutes. Everyone expected my mind to be gone but I came back fine.

During the time I was gone, I had an experience. I was sitting on a huge chair, like a throne. There were two doorways with no doors. It was just an arched doorway. The walls and the floor were tan. I think the doorways were actually mirrors of your spirit or soul. They showed you your deeds while on earth. This mechanism is impossible to fool because you can't fool yourself. I was there maybe 5 minutes; I don't think your soul gets to that place until your body has been gone a long time. I feel a lot of experiences are made up of collapsing neural networks etc. This was totally real and I was there. It was completely different than the short death experience I had earlier.

A Chinese lady with a baby appeared at one point and she asked me what we were supposed to do. I told her that, 'I guess we have to pick a door.' She asked me which one should she chose. I told her which door that I thought was the wrong door to pick. My intention was to go through that door so she didn't have to choose that one. She went through the other door and was just gone. I came back into my earthly body.

The nurses were talking about how they couldn't believe I could be alive because my body temperature was too low and that I had been gone too long.

Much more happened, but words can't describe the OTHERNESS of where I was and whatever was beyond those doors. I know you can come back from that place but once that door touches you, it's done. And it's not a bad thing.

Yesterday Something told me to seek out men of the cloth and let them hear of my experience. People fear death and they shouldn't. We all go through it eventually. You can't cheat it. It would be like cheating yourself. Death is our reward.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 4/10/2020 and 11/30/2014

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness. Heart attack. CPR given. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) I was dead from a heart attack.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes As I was coming back to my body, there were two nurses arguing about whether I could actually be alive. One said my core body temperature had dropped too much for anyone to return. The other one just said, 'Well, he has a pulse.' Then everyone in the room freaked out and I was back in my body. Then I was unconscious for 14 days. I remember nothing of that time.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness. Felt like any other day.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The whole time

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The room was dim. No apparent lighting but it was lit.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I talked to the lady with the baby, so I could hear fine

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain Woke up on the throne. You don't come back from the tunnel I saw. I saw it take the Chinese lady and baby. There is no return if I would have passed those two doors.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain. I've been an electrician for six years. I couldn't figure out how the room was lit.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place. I was in a room sitting on a throne and facing two doorways. More precisely, they were scanners that read your life and then sent you wherever you belong

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will. I was trying to decide which door to go through but was then slammed back into my body, which at least 10 miles away from where I died.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated. I believed in God. As a child, I saw a mountain lion attack a girl and bite her head. Something helped me pull his mouth off of her.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Something told me yesterday that I had to share the doors and that my free pass was gone.

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated. I had something tell me yesterday that I had to share what I saw with preachers. I guess even they have doubts and I have absolutely none. I've been to the other side twice. The last time I was gone 30 minutes. It was very different from the first time. I think that in both experience, I went to the same place; which is wherever you have chosen your life to go.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I believed in God, but I'm hardly a 'Christian'. Now I KNOW that there is a continuance of some sort. After my first death, I felt like I had seen it all. I think many people die and see a little ways to the other side. I think I went as far as you can go the second time and still be able to come back.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I was chosen for some reason to die and come back. I tried for 46 years but brought nothing back. At age 51, I went all the way over to the other side and brought back the memories.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I remember the life before this one. I was an insurance investigator who lived in Cleveland for about 35 years. His whole life downloaded into my mind in a millisecond. I feel like I'm almost a hundred years old. Many people want eternal life. A truly eternal consciousness scares me more than anything in existence. I feel like my soul and mind need to rest eventually

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I watched a doorway transported a lady and her baby. But it was ok. We all will someday go through that doorway sometime.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes It feels more like a machine or something totally alien to us. God may have made us in his likeness, but human comprehension of God is impossible. Our earthly mind would snap like a dry twig. Whatever lies beyond those doors is benevolent but totally incomprehensible to any human intellect. If you did understand it, you would no longer be human.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes It took over a year to understand but we all have a purpose. I have lived an extremely reckless life. I died twice in two wrecks after driving over 100 mph. I didn't have a scratch or a broken bone. I sought death my whole life. It was like something was driving me, like GPS. I wasn't suicidal, but I just had no cares. I had hypothermia so badly that I was blind and deaf for hours. The doctor later told me that he's never heard of anyone returning from that condition with no treatment. I drove cars to die daily. Never happened. I took what should have been fatal doses of drugs for 30 years. I walked into many knife fights and three gun fights and just stared them down. I spent my whole life chasing death and when I died the first time, I was dismissive of its significance. It was just a cool conversation piece. The second time was much more significant. And yesterday, something came to me to share this CERTAINTY that everything is gonna be OK. I actually think that Something has kept me alive through all of this for so I could share. Unfortunately, when I had this epiphany yesterday I realized that I had seen what I needed to see and that my protection is gone. The third time will for me be the charm and that's ok.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists. There are two gates. I doubt it matters which you choose because they both will read your soul and send you where you belong. Conventional religion tries to make it an A vs B choice but I think it's infinite. For example, your hell could be Hitler's heaven.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes I doubt a deity watches us daily. But we do watch ourselves every second. Those doorways scan your life.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes All of life's hardships mean nothing. You go through them but none of it matters in the end.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Love is a human emotion. Whatever is out there certainly isn't human. We are so small and it is so big AND DIFFERENT out there. It is like trying to equate human emotions to the thing that runs this thing is a much bigger mistake than thinking a microbe could feel love.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. I grew up atheist. Cougar bit girls head at age 23. I felt hands come over mine and pull my cougars mouth off of her (totally impossible for a human to pull open a cougars mouth). Her dad was a lay preacher and his handling of the situation afterwards brought me to believe in God but I didn't live as a practicing Christian. Still probably won't, but I know that everything I do will be recorded and I will be judged on my 3rd trip past the other side. And I'm cool with it. I have always felt I was put here for a reason since my 1st wreck going over 100 mph nobody who has been as close as I have been to death as many times as I have been could think otherwise. The driving I did and the drugs it was just incomprehensible that I would still be here without a guardian of some kind. Yesterday I realized what my purpose is and the thing that's been watching me told me it's done. I have no more free passes and I'm cool with it. Basically, I think I was put here and my mind was shaped thru the massive use of hallucinogens to go to the other side and be able to remember and come back with my mind intact. I have had a drive to danger since I was 4 or 5 and something kept saving me. I think it wanted me to die so that I could bring back the word that it's all OK.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I'm a better person. I hope anyway. I was not the greatest man before and still have many miles to go

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain. It's not easy to describe but it's like describing the Mona Lisa to a man born blind.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I knew a former boss had a huge event in his life. I told people I felt it and 2 weeks later it became known.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I didn't talk about the doorways until recently. Also I had 35 yrs of some insurance investigator in my head. My family has had a much harder time than me dealing with most of this so I tried to keep the scary stuff away. The doorways were kind of scary for them I guess

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I've died twice so yes I was familiar with a NDE.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I'm writing a book. I'll send it when done

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Just glad I got to tell someone