Toma S NDE

Experience Description

I ask that you remember I was only three years old at the time of my near death experience. The only reason I remember and asked my mum was because of my recent dreams.

Ever since birth I've been depressed. At age three, I committed suicide. They used to have me on a time-release medicine. One day my mother came to check on me because of the fact I hadn't woken up from my nap after she gave me my meds. I remember the feeling of relaxing at last. I felt free but trapped. My lungs had almost stopped pumping air, so I wasn't breathing properly. Eventually I stopped breathing all together. By the time the ambulance was on its way to the hospital, I was close to death. When we were finally in the hospital, I died. I was dead for a total of six to fourteen minutes. After they brought me back, thanks to shocks, they had to have me on life-support for a few weeks. When they brought me back and the nurse asked me what happened with the medicine patch I had, I told her I ate it so I would fall asleep and never wake up. I wanted to be with ‘them.’

I still don't know who ‘them’ are. I honestly don't think anyone does.

My mum never told me about this until I asked her about it a few months back. The only reason I ever found out was because of strange dreams I kept having about it. These dreams always showed the same symbol. After I told her about the dreams, she closed up and it took a little while before she told me it was something that actually happened. Ever since I can't stop thinking about it or even drawing the symbol.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: I honestly do not remember

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Suicide attempt. Drug or medication overdose Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) I don't understand the question.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I don't understand the question.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual I felt lost in time. Nothing was moving, I didn't have a sense of hours passing or minutes or days. Then again I was three years old.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? No

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't quite remember, but for some reason I don't think I heard anything other than what I was hearing in my ‘dream.’

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I said earlier I met a woman. I still don't know anything about her.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place When I talked with the woman I didn’t feel like a child. I felt mature and like I understood so much. I don't remember what the place looked like, but it was no place I had been, at least not at the time or any other time I remember.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace, freedom, fear, hope, and belonging.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? No comment

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Slightly important to me

What is your religion now? No comment

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience i had no beliefs that I ever knew of.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify I actually remember part of my ‘dream’ from that day. I was talking with someone. She was tall, beautiful, and she was warning me. She said they would bring me back and eventually I would understand. And that was that.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain I can't really say I did or didn't. I was only told I had to go back for now. And as I said earlier i was in a place i had never seen before and still ahven't seen.

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? Unknown

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain I can't really say I did or didn't. I was only told I had to go back for now.

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? I am uncertain if God exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Strangely enough I do, but I can't seem to place what it is.

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? Unknown

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? I am uncertain if an afterlife exists Uncertain I can't really say I did or didn't. I was only told I had to go back for now.

Did you fear death prior to your experience? Unknown

Do you fear death after your experience? I slightly fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Unknown

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Not compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Uncertain A few words however I wish to not ever discuss it.

Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I was going off of a dream/memory. I could express what I remembered.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I do not know how my remembrance of the experience compares to my remembrance of other life events at time no idea.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared the experience with y mother after I started having dreams about it at age fourteen (current age).

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I was a little kid. I never thought about it until recently. After that it was only as if I had dreamed it up.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I feel it was strange but at the same time inspiring. I can’t fully explain in words but inside I just know that's how I feel.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No