Tracy R NDE

Experience Description

I was heavily depressed. I took a large dose of drugs, lay down and said the Lord's Prayer. Next thing I recall was it being very black. Slowly the edges of the darkness were filling up with light. It was a very bright white light. At first, it was silent. Then I started to hear someone calling my name. The light grew bigger and I could start making out three figures. Their arms were stretched out as if to embrace me. They were off in a distance at first, and were floating closer. I reached out to touch them, but I never made contact. They had no faces, no hands, and no feet.

Then I woke up in the emergency room. I guess the paramedics and doctors had to do CPR on me two different times that day.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: Late 2004

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt. Drug or medication overdose. CPR given. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) Suicide attempt, drug overdose, CPR

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness I was fully conscious prior to the pills. Then I was 'waking up' in pure darkness. I would say it felt as if it was real, so I guess I should say my alertness was slow at the beginning of the encounter, then grew more alert very rapidly and began to become confused as to what was going happening.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Right before I took the pills, and also a day or so after the event.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I would say time had no meaning, because I was not aware or even thought of time during the experience.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I have perfect vision, and had perfect vision up until taking the pills. I fell asleep. When it first started, it was pure blackness. But I was 'awake' so I could see nothing but darkness. Then a bright white light began to approach the outer edges of the darkness. Then my vision began to improve.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Hearing is normal and was prior to the event. During the event, it was very quiet. Then off in a distance I could hear my name being called. Lightly at first, then it grew louder. That was the only noise, I recall, of the experience

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

The experience included: Tunnel

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain It was pure darkness. When the light started to show, it did appear to be like a tunnel. But I never actually saw a tunnel. It had the rounded edges at the top at first then grew larger.

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Darkness at first, then a bright white light started to surround and engulf the darkness.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place Darkness, then engulfed in bright white light.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Calmness, then confused once I realized it wasn't normal. But I was still at peace.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Atheist Grew up southern baptist, but became atheist

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Slightly important to me

What is your religion now? Do not know Not religious, and still question religion

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I was raised southern Baptist, then became atheist. Hard to explain what happened in a logical manner. I never saw 'God,' only three beings. After my experience, I still question religion, but I know the experience happened so I am a little more open-minded about it.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes After the event, I believed in the afterlife. I know the event happened, but nowadays I question myself, because of being ridiculed.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify Three beings calling my name. I do not recall recognizing the voices. They had no faces, so I wasn't able to recognize them.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God probably exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife probably exists No

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I moderately fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life I take things more seriously now, and open to others' thoughts and embrace people more.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Compassion for others, which is growing stronger.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I didn't know if I should tell anyone about the experience. I never did for a few years. When I did, I was ridiculed. So I never spoke of it again until writing this.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I remember the event, NDE, and afterwards very well.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Nothing meaningful; but I do remember the experience well.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes At first, I didn't tell anyone. When I finally did, I became the black sheep. So I quickly stopped talking about it. I haven't spoken of it, until writing this.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes My uncle told me he had an NDE, but never went into detail. Then after I told him of mine, he said similar stuff had happened in his NDE.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It happened. I knew it happened. But it's hard to explain that situation to someone who hasn't had the same experience.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It's hard to explain logically what happened. But I know it happened.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I think about it daily. But I keep quiet on it, because of ridicule.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? No other questions