Vanessa A NDE

Experience Description

I had an overdose of medication, at home. Standing in my doorway, I felt tired and fell down. My mother asked me if she should call the doctors. I signaled yes by nodding my head, then I blacked out. In the same environment but blurred, I went away from my forehead. I was a white vaporous silhouette, well defined, and fluid. It seemed female but there was no detail, and no face or clothes. I had the feeling that it was 'me' who was leaving my body. I felt well, but at the same time, I was scared of dying and leaving my life, my family, and my friends. I did everything to recapture this silhouette so that it wouldn't go completely away from my body. I managed to do it and came back towards my forehead. Then there was nothing anymore but blackness. I started to hear a distant noise that was disturbing me. It was I answering the questions of a doctor. I was coming around.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1996

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Drug or medication overdose. Life threatening event, but not clinical death

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I felt more lucid as everybody! I had the impression to be closer to reality.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I tried to catch the silhouette

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I had no sensation of time until my feeling of fear was interfering, and even as my environment stayed calm, my interior, my body started with a sensation of acceleration, the two worlds didn't match anymore.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My sight was fixed on this silhouette; the rest was blurred and dark.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Nothing special, only the impression to slightly hear my fear.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain The silhouette coming out of my forehead was of a beautiful white.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place This white silhouette was going somewhere, but I don't know where.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? A well-being, then a sadness of leaving my 'terrestrial' life. Then I focused on the desire to come back and on the feeling of fear, I would even say terror, of not being able to come back.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe A feeling of understanding everything about the reality of things.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life I was sad to leave my loved ones alone, not being able to help them, then the reasons became more personal, it was me being scared not to see them anymore, fear of the unknown, I wasn't sure if it would be better. I told myself that I still had plenty of things to do in this life, and that one day I would be dying, while being scared that this wouldn't be the same as the experience that I was living.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Agnostic De culture catholique chretienne

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Slightly important to me

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Agnostic

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I was an agnostic of Christian culture, but not believing in God, but rather in Man, I wasn't against believing in him, but it had to be proved to me. This silhouette, this sensation of well-being, and to understand everything, having fought to live.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I think that something exists, but I'm not sure that this would be after death.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain A superior environment, a 'whole'. But nothing mystical or religious, it's much above of that.

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably does not exist

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain Not somebody, but something superior, an environment.

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God does not exist

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain A sensation of needing to tell and show people to live in perfect match with what is around us.

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain If every person wanted it, life on this earth could be a paradise.

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably does not exist

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife probably exists Uncertain Not a specific knowledge, but this white silhouette was definitely going somewhere!

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I slightly fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain The sensation that we really are still at a primary stage of our evolution. That life on earth could be so simple and so beautiful!

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain If every person wanted it, life on this earth could be a paradise.

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Uncertain A sensation where emotions do not exist anymore, love, fear, sadness are no more. But it was just an immense well-being.

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain Because I had the impression being closer to reality, to the 'truth', to knowledge, as in 'terrestrial' life!

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I have a sensation of an opportunity that I let slip.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes For believers, it reinforced their belief, and the others had been interested or skeptical.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real With the saying of people and my own Cartesian side, I wasn't so sure anymore.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was probably real You are never sure about anything, even if it seemed real to me, and that others experienced this type of experience, you are still asking yourself if it wasn't just a reaction of your brain.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No