Veronica M NDE

Experience Description

I was riding my horse in the riding ring which was located at the base of a very long fenced pasture. All that I can effectively recall is that it was a very warm and sunny Saturday morning and all was going well. Suddenly, my horse bolted directly toward the fence and I could not control him. I have no memory of what followed. My brother was onsite throughout the entire event and observed that I had fallen out of the saddle, with my right foot still in the stirrup, and I was being dragged along the fence line with my head hitting the ground and fence as the horse ran at full speed. Eventually my foot released and I was dropped to the ground.

When my brother reached me, I was in full-blown generalized grand mal seizure, vomiting, and my eyes were clicking back into the recesses of my eye sockets. He thought that I was dead, as I did not respond. I have absolutely no recollection of this. As we lived 25 miles from the nearest acute care hospital, I was transported stat by ground ambulance to the city of Victoria, B.C.

The next thing that I recall is levitating from a lying position into a conical tunnel in an upward direction toward a beautiful, warm, very, very bright white light. It beckoned me strongly, and I really wanted to go. Simultaneously, I knew that I was in the ambulance and lying on the right side of the vehicle. The siren was very, very loud and was hurting my ears. I was frustrated by the noise and wanted it to stop. I was aware that one or two people were around me. I knew they were working on me, although I could not feel them or see them. Across from me, I knew that my Dad was in the ambulance because I could hear that he was crying and begging me to stay and not leave. All of this was happening at once. And then it all just stopped, everything went blank.

The next thing that I remember is that I awoke in the hospital, the room was bright, and a nurse was about to cut the knot out of my long hair, when I reached up and grabbed her wrist to stop her. I was released from hospital two days later; post diagnosis of a severe concussion. I was not diagnosed with any residual brain damage. However, my intuitive ability was greatly enhanced afterward, and has remained acute for my entire life. Although I am not always correct, I have learned to pay close attention based upon my own personal findings.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: Summer 1970

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident. Direct head injury. I experienced severe head trauma due to a fall from my horse. When I was found on the ground immediately after the fall I was in full blown grand mal epileptic seizures. During transport by ground ambulance I experienced either respiratory or cardiac ar 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' I experienced severe head trauma due to a fall from my horse. When I was found on the ground immediately after the fall I was in full blown grand mal epileptic seizures. During transport by ground ambulance I experienced either respiratory or cardiac ar I had generalized Grand Mal Seizures with aspiration, followed by respiratory or cardiac arrest.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes The ambulance attendants were there working on me but I could not see or feel them. I could hear the sound of my father's voice as he was crying and begging me to not leave this world, and the acutely loud siren. I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal My senses were highly acute and intensified, especially my hearing. I could not stand the sound of the ambulance siren as it was so loud that it hurt.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was at my highest level while I was ascending toward the light.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I was cognizant of everything happening at once. It was as though I was simultaneously trapped between two parallel worlds; one on earth in the ambulance, and the other ethereal in the direction of the light by way of the conical tunnel.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My hearing was unbelievably acute; pronounced to the degree that it hurt. I wanted the sound of the ambulance siren to cease. And something else in this regard; throughout my entire life I have had exceptionally acute hearing. As an example; I will often times be alerted to sounds before anyone else in my company, and upon investigation, find the source of the sound.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out

The experience included: Tunnel

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes A conical structure; not dark or light, just there in shape. It wasn't short or long. It seemed to envelope me perfectly.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Everyone that was alive and in the ambulance with me; the attendants and my father.

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I knew that it was more than very bright white light. It radiated love, peace, hope and acceptance. It beckoned me onward and upward and I really wanted to go.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The tunnel and the bright white light I had never experienced before in my life, before or since. There was a strong sense of knowing that this led to an unearthly, ethereal place if you will, a place even better than my earthly home.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I was frustrated by the loud sound of the siren as it hurt my ears. I really wanted to keep heading in the direction of the bright white light. It made me feel safe; loved I think. The draw of the light was greater than the desire to return to my earthly life.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I was 12 years old and made the decision to leave this earthly life for something greater. The bright white light reassured me of such. A greater reality; a bigger picture was perceived. And although it was new because I had not ever experienced it before, or to date, it was also, somehow, known to me and therefore familiar.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic Although born to a Roman Catholic father, and Greek Orthodox mother, we were not encouraged to attend church. As a young child I questioned my parents approach with them personally, and then set about to investigate all other religions as per my friends and peers. I came to no specific conclusions except that I believed religion was man made and too negative for my liking. I did not perceive to be a sinner, or one possessed by sin.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I am naturally inclined toward enhanced self-discovery and personal development on the spiritual front. It remains a work in progress and a labor of love. I am equally passionate about the metaphysical realm.

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? No comment I am a spiritual person who definitely believes in something greater than myself. But what this is exactly I cannot say. I have studied science for many years of my life and therefore maintain a more scientific view vs. religious view over all. However, I also maintain an open mind, and if sufficient evidence of otherwise could be presented, I would be willing to further examine my own beliefs in this regard.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience My childhood was not easy. From a very early age I had to accept adult responsibilities. Partly because of familial circumstances, and because of my own nature(nurturing). I have always been wise beyond my years. At the age of 12 years, I remember that I was overwhelmed and felt asthough I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. I was already tired. Approximately one week before my riding accident I sat outside with my Dad on our back steps and I said to him that if this was life I did not want it. Subsequently, the following week I sustained a life threatening fall from my horse accompanied by a near death experience.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believed in myself to the degree that I became significantly more self-directed. I put a stop to an abuse situation that was happening in my home environment. And I decided on my future career as a professional nurse.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I heard no voice, but I knew that a very loving essence was associated with this bright white light. I felt loved and protected, more so than I ever did in my earthly life.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes Just a knowing that I was so much more than this mere mortal dying in the ambulance. Almost asthough something supreme was delivering me a message, a sign, that my work here on earth was not done, but that I would eventually return to this all encompassi

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes It felt older and familiar. Asthough it was my true place of birth or home. It was complete love and acceptance void of all or any pain.

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain However, the draw toward the light felt so good and safe. Total love.

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? I am uncertain if God exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I have always had a sense of knowing what is most important in this life. The hardest thing is to live life on this earth with so much love to give and share with other not so enlightened beings.

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Just that I had to return for my loved one's because they would suffer greatly without me. Especially my Dad, and my brother Richard who found me on the ground in the pasture seizing. It seemed to indicate that I had valuable work to complete yet, and t

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? Unknown

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? I am uncertain if an afterlife exists Yes I sensed that my person has a universal awareness/presence long before my current life, and long after. That this life as we know it, is a mere snapshot of all that we are in totality.

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes This life is all about love. Not just for those close to you, but everyone and everything on this earth.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes I sensed that I was being reminded from where I did actually come, and how beautiful it will be again, but not yet. It was asthough I was being encouraged to remember while I toiled through all of the many earthly difficulties. It was not my time to lea

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes The bright white light was complete and total unconditional perfect love.

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life My intuitive ability became increasingly more enhanced. I developed a voracious appetite for spiritual growth, further development and refinement of my own intuitive abilities, and New Age literature. As a Registered Nurse, I have witnessed death frequently throughout my life. A major question of mine remains unanswered and that is where does the spirit, the soul, go when physical death occurs? I am innately drawn to the metaphysical and find that I am perpetually open to all possibilities yet not proven. I ask the larger questions each and every day that I live.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain Uncertain I am rather a loner. I enjoy solitude. I have a need for depth of love in a significant relationship, but I do not need to be surrounded by large numbers of friends or loved ones to be content. The greatest love that I have ever known has come from my beloved cat Nicholas. I seem to have an innate ability to communicate and commune lovingly with all animals. People seem to want to be with me, and have said that I make them feel loved and accepted. I have also been told that I am not like other people, but in fact that I am different and special; a rare individual. I maintain the ability to find the good in everyone that I meet.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain Oddly, many years went by before I was able to recall the experience. I was in my thirties before it all came together and the significance of what I had experienced at age 12 actually registered. I kept it to myself in my youth or I suppressed, repressed the incident altogether.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience Acuity and intensity of the experience. All senses are heightened. Plus, the event itself is unprecedented;then and now.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes My own intuitive ability that I had prior to the accident was significantly enhanced, and continues as such. Also, I am a gifted healer; especially from an intuitive perspective.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I believe that I had this near death experience as an incentive to keep on living. I believe that I came here to love and care for others. However, the hardships experienced in my youth defeated me and convinced me that I could not go on. The experience was a reminder that I am, and there is, so much more. It was a message to be patient, to persevere, and to know how great the love is that I shall someday return to.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes It was approximately 25 years after the accident. Reactions are mixed. The person most greatly affected by my experience is my brother, Richard, who found me immediately after the incident in the pasture.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real To the best of my ability to remember what I believed after all of these years, I probably was not comfortable sharing my experience with anyone for fear of criticism or rejection. My intuitive ability had won me the nickname of, 'The Little Witch' by my siblings, and I was unwilling to subject myself to any more verbal assault. I have always been sensitive to verbal slights. But as I grew up, and into my own person the experience never left me, and it always remained the same. I suppose that maturity allowed me to bring it out of the closet so to speak. As a child I felt very alone with this experience. But as I grew and discovered that more people had experienced the same or similar events, it began to make more sense to me.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real To this very day I believe in what I experienced because the scenario never leaves me, nor changes. I have come to know that several other people have experienced similar events. Also, the feelings experienced during the event remain acute.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain When I met my current partner Jeffery, I fell deeply in love. After sixteen years, the intensity of feeling remains for me. While sitting behind him during a loving embrace I did experience an out of body experience, and so did he. I literally floated into his being and he into mine. It was as warm and loving as the feelings experienced while ascending in the direction of the bright white light. These are the only two similar sentient experiences to date in my life.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I have none at this time.