Wanda H Probable NDE

Experience Description:

I visited 'the light' during a clinical hypnosis session early last year. I was not seeking any kind of spiritual experience. It was the 'home' described in so many NDE accounts. I saw vibrant colors and felt a completely overwhelming feeling of love and belonging. I was met by my spirit guide and overjoyed to be reunited with him. I had no desire whatsoever to leave, but he communicated that I should enjoy my visit but I 'must go back and focus on [my] work.' I was sad and frustrated but didn’t question that I had a duty to follow through on my 'work.' So when my session ended, I returned.

Several weeks later, I was in a toxic situation at work. I’d been putting in an insane number of hours and enduring long periods of extreme pressure and stress. I suffered an adrenal crisis leading to sudden cardiac arrest. Although under a doctor’s care, I was home in bed at the time of the cardiac arrest. I was in and out of consciousness when I suddenly became very aware of my slowing heart rate and final breaths. Then, I was just gone.

I immediately found myself in a dark room or tunnel of some sort. I know it should seem odd that I wasn’t confused by this new environment after having gone into the light before. But somehow, I understood that I was in an in-between space. The only sensation I felt was an extreme heaviness, like being engulfed in an incredibly dense, dark fog.

I was surrounded by shadowy beings that I couldn’t quite see. I focused on the one I could see most clearly. She was a tall woman. I felt some connection to her, but didn’t recognize her as anyone I know from this life. I felt as loved and supported as I had in the light, but there was also another feeling here. I was absolutely not supposed to be here, and I felt a strong sense of alarm and concern.

I proceeded to have a telepathic conversation with a presence I couldn’t see but knew to be 'God' or maybe another guide. I understood that I had died but had the choice to go back. I immediately decided to accept my death. I was then made to feel the pain that my family would feel over my death. It was a crushing feeling, and to this day, I still cry every time I relive that experience. I then contemplated choosing to live, but I didn’t understand how I was supposed to return when my body was so broken. I reasoned that my family would be sad but, eventually, they would be OK. I was then shown an image of my young niece, which was the one thing that could persuade me to continue this life. I don’t even remember it being a decision at that point. In what seemed like an instant, I agreed to return and went right back into my body. I remember popping up into a sitting position in my bed, taking an enormous, deep breath, and then flopping back down and sleeping for four days straight.

Physically, it has been a year to get back to about 80% wellness. The mental piece has been an especially wild ride. I’m thankful to have both gone into and emerged from this with my mental health. But not even the most solid foundation or a prior spiritual experience can prepare one for a true NDE. The combination of the physical and mental experiences left me feeling like the walking dead for several months. It was like I was just existing somewhere between the physical and spirit worlds. I’m only now starting to feel like I’m fully reconnected to this life and successfully integrating my new reality.

I’m still not quite ready to share this with anyone I know, so my personal relationships are mostly unchanged. But I do sometimes feel frustrated and isolated, having had this life-changing experience that I can’t talk about. The shift in perspective and knowledge of the universe that I gained from both visits to the other side have been hugely positive for me. I like to think I was always a good, kind, and mindful person. That hasn’t changed, but I’m more patient with others now and I take less for granted.

While neither my visit with my spirit guide nor my NDE specified the nature of my 'work' here, they did leave me open to constant communication with the other side which has helped me to better understand my life path and mission. Although I was left with a constant sense of longing for 'my home' and 'my people,' I now know that I am part of something much larger than the here and now. I have an important purpose in being here, as we all do, and I’m committed to staying until I’m no longer needed.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: June 22, 2018

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Heart attack Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) Sudden cardiac arrest during an adrenal crisis; under a doctor’s care but home alone at time of the NDE

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Less consciousness and alertness than normal. I had a hard time adjusting to the feeling of heaviness. It felt like exhaustion or brain fog.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I felt conscious and alert throughout the experience.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. I had no concept of time. I could have been gone seconds or hours.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision was about the same as my everyday vision. The tunnel or void was dark and heavy, and the beings surrounding me appeared almost as if they were behind a veil.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don’t remember hearing anything. My conversation was entirely telepathic.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I was in a dark, heavy space, like being in an incredibly dense fog.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I was surrounded by beings I didn’t recognize. All appeared to be behind a veil, so to speak, almost the way we would imagine a ghost. There was a woman in front of the group who I could see more clearly. I felt a connection to her but didn’t recognize her from this life.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place. I was in a void or tunnel. I understood that I was in an in-between place and I would not be allowed into the light beyond unless I chose death.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Exhaustion and sadness, then relief

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe. Not so much that I suddenly understood, but that I remembered. I wasn’t surprised by or in awe of anything about the experience. Everything felt like a familiar process.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life Described in my story. I was told that I was needed here on Earth and my mission was not complete. I agreed to return.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Agnostic Raised Lutheran but not affiliated since childhood

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I meditate more. I’m more aware of signs and messages from the other side.

What is your religion now? Other faiths- New age Spiritual but not religious

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. I had a telepathic discussion with a higher being I could not see. This being persuaded me to return to this life.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I took my sense of remembering this place and these processes as awareness that I’d had these experiences before. It was like I was in the foyer of my long-lost home but forced back outside rather than being invited in.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I felt connected to the beings who surrounded me even though I couldn’t see their faces clearly or recognize their faces. The sense of oneness is hard to express in words.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain I knew the being I was communicating with was a higher being. The other beings surrounding me seemed to be listening and waiting for the outcome of our discussion, in a way that seemed deferential to the higher being.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Previously described. I have a purpose or mission that required me to return, but I wasn’t given any specifics.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Only that I do have one, which is important enough that I was persuaded to return rather than being allowed to pass as I wished.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists I felt my last breath and heartbeat and immediately regained consciousness in the void/tunnel. I went on to have a discussion with a higher being and debated my choice to live or die. This would not have been possible if I’d ceased to exist when my heart stopped.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I feel a distance from friends and family, like I’m not the same person I was before and my perspectives and priorities have changed, so I don’t always connect with them the same way I used to. I’m really struggling with my career, as my expanded perspective doesn’t allow me to conform to the corporate world.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It’s difficult to express the form of telepathy or 'knowing' I experienced when communicating with the other beings, and the feeling of being botha connected to but beyond my physical body.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I’ve received specific information in my sleep that I have no Earthly knowledge of or connection to (names of people and places); lucid dreams that impart wisdom I would never have imagined while awake.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? All of it helped me better understand prior experiences I’ve had but never made any sense of.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes A year. I’ve only shared anonymously in an online forum and with one non-family/non-friend spiritual advisor. People online seem hungry for NDE stories to help them cope with the concept of death, which makes me reluctant to share in a time when so many are struggling and suicide rates are climbing. The advisor was very accepting and helped me to understand that many others have had similar experiences.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real. I knew it was real but couldn’t cope with the enormity of it. I had to heal physically and get back to work and my day-to-day life to avoid losing my job and upsetting family and friends, so I kind of denied or compartmentalized it for a long time.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I always knew it was real and finally allowed myself to accept it.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes As described in my complete story, I visited the light and met a spirit guide during a prior hypnosis session.