Wendy Z SDE

Experience Description

My maternal grandfather was fighting in WWII. He was hit by a train and sustained a head injury. His doctors claimed this injury is what caused his brain tumor some 60 years later. It was an inoperable brain tumor, so he started radiation therapy.

My grandfather was always working on or repairing something in the workshop or shed. I was one of his seven grandchildren and one of two of his female grandchildren. There was at least one or more grandsons helping him. Being a girl, I didn't really care to be working on dirty machinery. So, we didn't spend a lot of time together and were not particularly close. But family, in general, was very important to him.

His radiation therapy appointments became a little taxing on our family. My grandmother never drove and his children and grandchildren worked during the day. All except me. I was a stay at home mom at the time, with my children in school for the better part of the day. I volunteered to help get him back and forth to his doctor appointments. It was during these trips that he and I got to know each other a little better. He would tell me jokes during the car rides. This went on for months.

At some point, we were made aware that the radiation wasn't helping shrink the brain tumor. There were more aggressive, experimental treatments available but my grandfather was done. He declined the treatment and settled on hospice care. Early on in hospice care, there were still emergency room visits to help maintain his condition and keep him as comfortable as possible. During one of these visits, my aunt mentioned his care becoming 'too much' and she wanted to look into a hospice facility instead of hospice at-home care. Me and one of my cousins adamantly rejected this suggestion; and we both volunteered to take over his daily care. I believe this is why I was included in his death experience.

Another aunt and I ended up providing most of his care at my aunt and uncle's house. I live 30 minutes away from her. I was there everyday for weeks. His death was clearly coming as all the signs the hospice nurses talk about were present. I decided I was going to spend the night. I phoned my husband to make arrangements for our children so I could stay. That evening the rest of the family headed home. I was standing on the front porch waving goodbye to my mother when I noticed the full moon and one single cloud in the night sky.

I don't know why this caught my attention, but while standing there I heard a very strong voice come from inside of me telling me to go home for the night. I argued with the voice, with my reasons for wanting to stay. More firmly, the voice told me to go home. So I do. I explain to my aunt that I've changed my mind and I'm going home. She seemed confused, but hugged me goodbye.

It was already late when I decided to leave. As soon as I got home, I showered and got ready for bed. It was a long, taxing day and I was exhausted. I fell asleep fast.

The next thing I know, I'm back at my aunt and uncle's house, standing on the front porch and staring at the single cloud in the night sky. My grandfather is next to me. I can't see him, as much as I feel him. I feel both of us get sucked into a tunnel along with my grandfather's guide in front of us. I sense him as male, although I see him as light. I can see 360 degrees around me. I can even 'look down' at me and grandfather. In the blink of an eye, we are moving at what I can only guess is the speed of light. The guide first, with my grandfather and I, side by side right behind him. We are moving incredibly fast and the tunnel is long and winding. You can liken the tunnel to being on a super-fast, winding rollercoaster. The tunnel is very, very long. At each turn, I think we will be at our destination, but we keep going. I remember feeling like a small child thinking, 'Are we there yet?' I can see the universe outside the tunnel walls and the stars look like streaks. It looked very much like warp speed is shown on 'Star Wars.' As I watch, I know what I'm seeing and that seems completely normal to me. I did not feel like I was somewhere I shouldn't be. I didn't think I had died. Everything that was happening and seeing was completely normal to me. But I was curious what was next.

After what felt like a long ride in a short amount of time, we came to an abrupt stop. We are still in the tunnel and I realize that I can no longer join them. I can't cross this point. I don't see a door, but I feel the tunnel ahead of us opens. My grandfather goes first, his guide goes next, and I feel the tunnel close. I'm suddenly very aware of how lonely and cold I am. I hadn't noticed the warm, comfortable light coming from my grandfather's guide until it was gone. A ringing phone draws me back into my body as I wake up feeling a buzzing sensation. I answer the phone, it's my mother calling me to let me know that grandfather had passed. I said, 'I know.'

I've always had preminitions in real life and in dreams, so this experience didn't seem strange to me. Although, I wasn't sure why I had it. I didn't know it was a shared death experience. Several months after this experience on a Sunday morning, that same voice told me to make dinner and take it over to my parents house that evening. Again, I tried to argue with the voice. It insisted that I must make dinner and take it to my parents house with my husband and children. I called my mother to confirm the plans. I did as I was told and took dinner and a cake to my parents house. We all had a nice dinner and visit. We left around 9:00pm and went home to put our children to bed. I received a phone call around two in the morning that my step-dad had been taken to the hospital for chest pain. I needed to meet my mom, aunt and uncle at the hospital. It was a small town hospital and the paramedics decided in route to take him to a heart hospital over an hour away. When my step-dad was lifted into the ambulance, he was awake and talking. This change of plans was confusing to us. On the drive to the heart hospital, I had a vision of my step-dad lying in a casket. I knew he had died. He had actually died in route.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 8/20/2007

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes My grandfather was dying from a brain tumor. Other: I was not sick or injured

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes My grandfather died. During the SDE, I knew he had passed and his consciousness was leaving earth. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I just seemed to understand why I was there, Although I didn't know what would happen next.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? While traveling in the tunnel.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual. Time was faster. I had the feeling that we had traveled light years in a very short amount of time.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The colors were incredible.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. No hearing, I just knew or felt what I needed to know.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes My grandfather and I both went into the tunnel.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes My grandfather's guide was a comforting, and soothing white light.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. Traveling through a black hole and experiencing the universe is unearthly to me.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I was very curious what would happen next. I felt relaxed and calm.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others. I didn't understand everything, but what was happening and what I was experiencing seemed normal.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will. I wasn't sent back against my will, I understood I couldn't go with them.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? At the time of the SDE, I was Christian.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I went from being Christian to Atheist, and after realizing what this experience was, I believe in a higher or central intelligence.

What is your religion now? Other faiths- New age I believe in a higher intelligence that is not defined by any religion.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I didn't see Jesus or pearly gates.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I try to remember we are all the same and we're all here learning, so I try to be more compassionate.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. The voice told me to go home and I had telepathic communication with my grandfather and his guide.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I was in the tunnel with my grandfather as his soul/consciousness as he was going home.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I understood my grandfather had died and his consciousness was going back to where it came from.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes I understood my grandfather was leaving earth.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I was a non-churchgoing Christian when this experience happened. In my early 40s, I had several major life changes. I left a 20 year abusive marriage. I went no contact with my mother because of her harmful actions and behaviors towards me when she took my ex-husband's side during the divorce. I questioned my beliefs, to the point of becoming an Atheist. I became very politically opposite of how I was raised in the bible belt. The pandemic seemed to reaffirm my belief in there was no higher intelligence. I remarried a guy from my hometown that I've known since the fourth grade. Being in a safe, loving relationship has given me the space to open back up to what I believe. As I looked, things began to open up to help me understand/remember. I found this website and realized I had a SDE. When I opened up to my husband (also an Atheist) about what I experienced, he shared his NDE after he realized what it was.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? I'm more careful who I let be in my life. I no longer tolerate abusive situations.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I feel as though my words alone aren't descriptive enough.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. Other than a dream I had about an afterlife, this is the most memorable experience I've had.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I was somewhat psychic before but it seemed stronger now. My husband (I believe him to be my soulmate) and I can talk telepathically. I have a very strong intuition, and can feel people's energy.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I feel very privileged to be included in my grandfather's death experience.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Just my husband and on a afterlife Facebook page.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It was more real than what we think is real life.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. More real than right now real.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? No other questions

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