Whitney H NDE

Experience Description

I was struggling to breath during the night time while I was in the intensive care unit (ICU); 48 hours after anesthesia and aspiration from aspiration pneumonia. I was coughing and totally exhausted. I started to panic because I was disoriented and couldn't call the nurse for help.

Suddenly, I was drifting. I was lying peacefully on my back surrounded in a pale blue glow while moving into a calm blue void. I was not alone, despite not being able to see anyone. We were all connected. I felt so much peace and belonging. I was home and safe. I also felt joy, acceptance, and that I was loved and that others cared about me just because I am me. Here, I didn't need to be, do, or say anything to be accepted or prove myself.

Then, I woke up, in my body while receiving a sternal rub. There was a flashlight being shown in my eyes as a dozen of the ICU staff moved around in a chaotic way. Apparently, there was a low SPO2 alarm that went off.

I remember the shame, guilt, and disappointment that I felt upon returning.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: March 13, 2021

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Accident Surgery-related. While under general anesthesia. I had an out of body experience in ICU for acute respiratory failure, hypoxia, and pneumonia.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain. I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I normally have PTSD, and am hyper-vigilant, not present in my body, and fearful. I wasn't that way in the void.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Just before I accepted the peaceful, drifting state

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. Time didn't exist; I was just being.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Clearer. But then, there wasn't much to see. I was seeing with my eyes closed as opposed to watching my world.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Prior to this experience, I was listening to my body fight to be alive.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light was diffused and a blue color.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. I was in an open, boundary-less, and royal blue void. It was more of a diffused, baby-blue light

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt peace, safe, calm, joy, love; and I felt capable,

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe. I felt the acceptance of me by the universe, and my acceptance of the universe. I felt acceptance at what it is and however we are connected

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain. I'm ok, just as I am

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes It really does exist because I now know that we are all connected as one.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I need to follow my gut to accomplish my purpose, which is to make the universe 'better', be more loving, and have less conflict in my life.(internal, interpersonal etc.)

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Interpreted as to stop trying so hard and follow my intuition. The universe will guide me.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists There is no life and death, just being.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes. I have so much love within me, and all around me.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? No changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I had hypoxia with cognitive deficits and delirium. My awareness and orientation were pretty muddled at times.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Uncertain

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain There is a lot out there about human experiences. I'm open to learning, yet skeptical.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It's been only a few days. Not much to say yet and I still have pneumonia.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain. But so far, I would have to answer 'No'

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Yes

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Uncertain Provide training to medical staff, caregivers and therapists on accepting such experiences and helping individuals feel safe to share and explore what happened.