Xue-Mei C NDE

Experience Description

I was raised under the influence of my father, who was strict and authoritarian since childhood, so my mind was deep-rooted on Marxism theory. Also, I was an active member in communist party in college. When I started working, I was ambitiously longing to become a successor of the party in both socialist-minded and professionally competent. Hence, I disliked idealism, having no attachment with any religions or superstitions. Nevertheless, incredible things happened to me, especially since I was a die-hard atheist. The illness might have been initiated due to several cold and hard winters. On top of this, I was a workaholic. Each year my chronic coughs always began in autumn and continued to winter, and then lingered until the end of spring and lasted to the beginning of summer. One autumn of that particular year, my prolonged coughing ailment broke out again. I went to a local clinic every day to have an antibiotic intravenous (IV) treatment as I usually did before. I arrived at the clinic around 8 PM. The doctor told me that a specific lot of Penicillin that was used on me two days ago was given to treat a child just recently. Then I needed to use a new lot, so they did a skin test on me first. It was a 'positive' result on my wrist with a big two-cent size, bulging redness on my skin that spread like pseudopodia. I hesitated a few minutes before asking doctor, 'Is it OK to have a reaction like this?' The doctor pondered awhile then replied, 'It is a false positive due to a new lot was used on you. It should be all right as you had been treated with Penicillin a couple days ago.' However, to prevent me from having an anaphylaxis shock, he gave me a Phenergan shot. Additionally, he injected Dexamethasone into my intravenous drip. I felt confident and relaxed afterwards. I then walked into patient ward and was lying down on a bed. A nurse hooked me up with an IV and then left to attend other patients. Shortly after, there was a train-like screaching, tinnitus sound.

Suddenly I fell into a dark tunnel and I was charging forward. I felt tremendously apprehensive, asking myself, 'What is wrong with me? I am fine just now but how come everything changed?' I wanted to stop and go back, but I was moving uncontrollably forward and could not head back. I screamed frantically, yet I was mute. I attempted to struggle through, but still my effort was futile. I perceived myself as a speck, hurling in an eternal circular pathway.

Although my flesh lay in the physical world, I (my soul) entered into a dimension with a barrier that separated 'me' and 'my spirit.' Clearly, I realized that it was not a dream. Instead there was something wrong with the intravenous drip. I had an allergic reaction to Penicillin. I underwent panic, felt frightened, vulnerable, and despaired while floating in this endless tunnel. I knew obviously my body still lay in bed, but I could not go back into it anymore. 'Is this death?' I contemplated. 'If it is, why am I very clear-headed?' I did not disappear, but rather I was isolated from the physical world. I felt no pain. I was hovering liked a feather and feeling very cozy.

To explain exactly what I felt as something in the unseen world, it seemed like there was a stream of beings guided me. They affirmed my answers, clarified my confusions, and comforted my bewildered heart. I did not know how to describe the 'stream of beings.' They were silent and amorphic, yet full of kindness, brightness, compassion, and amiability. They answered all my questions. It felt I was being lead and enveloped by a spring sunshine. I understood they were beings in a much higher level than me and in the spiritual realm. I called them prophet, the wisdom who communicated to me telepathically, revealing the true colors of the universe, purpose of life, and opened the door of death so I could have a glimpse of the other dimension.

Instantaneously, I was no longer in the lengthy, dark tunnel. Alternatively, I was in a bright, warm, and pure world. I was completely relieved, no more agonies, but instead replaced with eternal peace and bliss. My spirit asked one question after another, regarding the true colors of the universe and about life and death. Wherever my conscious went, he unfolded the answers before my eyes. This world was made up of particles. When microparticles accumulated, it formed a world with thousands of collective representations, meaning specific images. For example, as to many people the tree in front of a house is only a tree, while in this realm it is a stacked heap of tree-shaped molecules that are drifting and cycling forever. I did see the piles of molecules, flowing and surrounding this phenomenal world. While my physical body still lay in bed while given an IV drip, my conscious was free at will to watch trees outside the clinic.

Am I a particle, too? 'Yes, human body is built with innumerable particles. They circulate, metabolize, exchange, and etc. as being all part of the movements. As for you (my spirit to be exact), you are part of the molecules who are recycling among them. Therefore, particles cluster, mobile, recycle, flow to somewhere, and then assemble to another physique. So, this phenomenon keeps recurring, there is no life or death. It is infinite and the essence of the world. Commonly known as death which is actually a continuation on to the next phase of life. At this state you are in now. Your mind (soul) is existing and thinking obviously, but you are separated from the physical world without communication. It is like a glass-door partition between you and the world; you can see everything of the physical world, however people on the other side can't feel your existence.'

Being unable to communicate the situation you are in, and your loved ones have no means to understand it. Thus, I know, as for death, since people you loved don't understand what death truly is so they feel sorrow for the decreased. At this moment, I became worried if my parents know I had died, then they will be very miserable. In addition to my child who is too young to be independent. All these worries are flashing in my mind.

As our flesh is like a TV set, our consciousness is like TV programs. Is it perhaps when a TV set is aged to break down then all signals become vanished? Human's body is an aggregation of particulate matter that becomes a carrier. Whether the carrier is a particulate matter or in a form of energy, it never disappears. At this moment, I was in a confused situation where my conscious and flesh were detached but still in a connected state. I felt there are several different dimensions coexisted. While my conscious stayed in another realm, I was telepathizing with prophets and the wise whom revealed the true colors of the universe to me. At the same time, I was keen to everything in this dimension, clearly knowing things were around me. Owing to the fast velocity around here, sounds were transmitted to ears in a slow and time-delay fashion.

While on Earth, an old couple came to the clinic to see a doctor. When they walked by the patient ward I was in, they saw I was alone and asleep with an IV. They commented 'Look! This poor lady who has a child to take care of.' People hustled in and out of the clinic accompanied by unceasingly muffled noises. I even saw right through the wall with two coat hangers dangled in a closet. At once, my pager rang three times nurse came and asked if I wanted to answer. One of them was from the band musician who wanted to talk about our performance, the other two were from my dates. I was directing my somewhat unfamiliar body to nod my head sluggishly.

In my NDE, I considered money, love, and passions would never be important to me anymore. I became clairvoyant knowing what doctor would tell the patients outside of my room when they described their symptoms to the doctor even before he opened his mouth to talk. Consequently, they were all verified as what I had perceived beforehand. 'I' was suspended above my body to dictate it (my flesh) to take a deep, long breath so to speak, to show a movement of being alive. Later, the doctor told me that he could not understand why I was taking cheyne-stode's breathing which was different than a normal respiration as when I was unconscious.

When the doctor came to examine me, my afloat soul commanded my body to wink to bring his attention. I (my body) clung to his hand for he would be the only person who could bring me back to my parents, child, and unfinished missions. Instantly,my spirit plunged down abruptly,feeling my head spinning, Finally, I merged into my body.

When I opened my eyes to sit up, I began vomiting nonstop. Totally, I puked pickle-like dark fluid that was half-full in a washbasin, and then my whole body felt empty. The doctor was astonished,”How come your small stomach held this much stuff?”It must have been a ritual cleanse. The doctor had made every effort to rescue me. When I told him about what I had been through in last four hours, he was silent and listened to me before his face turned pale. I thought he was very terrified after hearing my experience. He stayed in my room to accompany me for the whole night. I have no intention to blame my doctor at all. I had a chance to experience NDE was because of his mistakes, so I had an insight of the Earth and the other realm. Being intimidated by and my fear of death had diminished, as my NDE had completely changed my perspectives toward the meaning of life and the ethics of entire world.


Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1995

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness. Life threatening event, but not clinical death

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I become clairvoyant, knowing others thoughts, and I am capable of looking through things outside of walls and objects stored inside of closets.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? There is a clearer consciousness than usual

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. There is no life or death, but eternity; the true colors of the universe.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I can watch neighbors and things happen outside of the walls. I watch people and cars coming and leaving outdoor, also can tell how many coat hangers in a closet.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. During NDE, sounds are transmitted to ears in a slow and time-delay fashion.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

The experience included: Passing into or through a tunnel

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an Unearthly light? Yes

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. A bright, warm, and pure world. I was relieved completely, no more agonies, but instead replaced with eternal peace and bliss.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Incredible tranquil, eternal peace, and Happiness.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others. It was a strange state of my consciousness and body being separated, feeling they were detached but also connected at the same time. Also, I sensed there are many different dimensions. While my conscious stayed in the other realm, I was telepathizing with prophets and the wise to reveal the true colors of the universe, and concurrently my consciousness was still connected and noticed keenly what happened around the world where my body was.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life. Thus I know, as for death, since people you loved don't understand what death truly is so they feel sorrow for the decreased. At this moment, I became concerned about if my parents know I had died, then they will be very miserable. In addition to my child is too young to be independent. All these worries were flashing in my mind.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Unknown

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Atheist. Original family has no any religious faiths.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I have no intention to blame my doctor at all. I had a chance to experience NDE was because of his mistakes, so I had an insight of the earth and the other realm. Being intimidated by and doubted of death had diminished, as my NDE had completely changed my perspectives toward the meaning of life and the ethics of entire world. To me it is meaningless when the world is chasing both fame and fortune at win-at-all-costs mentality. Instead, through my NDE experience I could help people in desperation. Luckily, my experience brings comforts to the dying elderly, cancer patients, and people with grief of losing love ones, etc., and this provides support and alleviation to those who are going through dread and mentally suffering. Now being kind and affectionate to others makes my life full of joy.

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Moderately important to me

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Atheist

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I was raised under the influence of father-authority strict family since childhood, so my mind was deep-rooted on Marxism theory. Also, I was an active member in communist party in college. When I started working, I was ambitiously longing for to become a successor of the party in both socialist-minded and professionally competent. Hence, I disliked idealism, having no attachment with any religions or superstitious. Nevertheless, the incredible things happened to me, especially I was a die-hard atheist.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I have no intention to blame my doctor at all. I had a chance to experience NDE was because of his mistakes, so I had an insight of the earth and the other realm. Being intimidated by and doubted of death had diminished, as my NDE had completely changed my perspectives toward the meaning of life and the ethics of entire world. To me it is meaningless when the world is chasing both fame and fortune at win-at-all-costs mentality. Instead, through my NDE experience I could help people in desperation. Luckily, my experience brings comforts to the dying elderly, cancer patients, and people with grief of losing love ones, etc., and this provides support and alleviation to those who are going through dread and mentally suffering. Now being kind and affectionate to others makes my life full of joy.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify To explain exactly what I felt something in the unseen world, it seemed like there was a stream of beings guided me. They affirmed my answers, clarified my confusions, and comforted my bewildered heart. I do not know how to describe the 'stream of being.' They were silent, amorphic, yet full of kindness, brightness, compassion, and amiability. They answered all my questions. It felt like being lead and enveloped by a spring sunshine. I understood they were beings in a higher level than me in spiritual realm. I called them prophet, the wisdom who communicated to me telepathically, revealing the true colors of the universe, purpose of life, and opened the door of death so I could have a glimpse of the other dimension.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably does not exist

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God probably exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes

Did you believe that our earthly lives Are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife probably exists Yes

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives Are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Unknown

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I gave up many unnecessary personal relations.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. During my experience, everything is lucid and unforgettable.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes When I told doctor what had happened during my NDE, his face turned pale and he looked stun

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It is still unforgettable, so it must be really happened.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. To me it is still unforgettable even 20 years later, so it must be really happened.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No