Yvette R Possible NDE

Experience Description

It was August 15th 1987 and I was getting my dance school ready for new classes. I had a fever of thirty-eight to thirty-nine degrees and because the aspirin wouldn't help, I had to call my doctor. After hearing of my symptoms he diagnosed a flu, we weren't worried and we found it a bit amusing as it wasn't flu season. We agreed that I would go on antibiotics, convinced that all would be back to normal fairly soon. Quite the contrary! My aches got worse and my fever went up to forty degrees.

I refused to go to the hospital and because I lived close to my mother, I received medical assistance at my home. I only accepted visits from doctors and from my mother who was taking care of me. I had told everyone that I might be contagious but in reality, I just didn't want anybody seeing me like this.

Day after day, I saw myself decline physically and morally. My body ruthlessly weakened. My joints ached. Getting up from my bed was difficult. I couldn't stand steadily and I worried about falling because my legs wouldn't carry me. It hurt to walk. I lost my appetite and I had difficulty swallowing all the delicious vegetable soups my mother prepared. Reading was uncomfortable and the light bothered me - my mind didn't control my body anymore and was rebelling.

I anxiously waited for medical tests results. I felt sorry for myself and when I was alone I cried, being aware of any noises coming from the door as my mother sometimes came at inappropriate moments. I didn't answer the phone anymore as the ringer startled me and hurt my ears. I listened to the messages on the answering machine when I was lucid enough to do so. I couldn't sleep soundly and all the street noises echoed and pounded in my head.

My main concern was trying to hide from my family how my disease was worsening, by modesty but mainly by fear of hospitalization. I used my intelligence to fool them but I was now having difficulty being vigilant at any instant.

One morning I threw the box of sleeping pills in the toilet. I had been taking half a pill every night for the past two weeks and I thought they were the cause of my nightmares and delirium.

I woke up in the middle of the night: sweating to the point of taking off my duvet or being cold to the point of not being able to warm up. Some nights, I was hunted by nightmares from my teenage years. I fell relentlessly in a void, my heart pounding, to what seemed an eternity. I woke up, horrified, panting and clinging to my duvet like a mad woman.

One day I had to go to the hospital for some exams and miraculously my temperature held at thirty-nine degrees, which meant I could be discharged that same night.

One night, a few days later, I felt like my pain was subsiding and my fever was going down. I felt better, calmer and to my amazement, I wasn't hearing any sounds from outside. I knew I was going to sleep soundly and I needed it badly.

In this healing silence, I heard two manly low voices with a soft tone. I had never heard them before and their clarity was bewildering. One was to my left and the other to my right and they were just there, without any physical manifestation.

These pleasant, sweet voices were comforting to my ears. I was attentively listening to their conversation, but quickly got upset. I realized they were calmly deliberating my fate as if I wasn't there. Despite my best efforts I was unable to make any noise coming out of my mouth, I was mute and could only address them telepathically. I knew they could hear me but they were not too preoccupied about it and acted as if I wasn't there. I felt powerless and it was infuriating me. I understood something abnormal was happening but it was real and a serious decision was being made unbeknownst to me. I thought of my daughter who still needed me. I argued, protested, begged but nothing worked: they were still ignoring me. The voice at my left was on my side and it was listing my qualities but the one to my right wasn't in my favor: it was listing my most insignificant imperfections. At the same time, scenes I remembered from my life and other scenes I was in but were unknown to me were unfolding at such a fast speed that they were bumping into my head. The whole thing was very confusing and I found the situation I was in to be insulting and ridiculous. Tired from all the useless efforts I had made to try to be heard and moved from some of the pictures and comments, I fell asleep.

All of the sudden I saw my body below me, inert, laying down on my bed. I felt so good. I went to see my daughter who was sound asleep at my mother's place. I freely moved into space with a bewildering lightness and speed. No obstacles and barriers were obstructing my 'rial movements. I went through walls with childish pleasure: I was having fun and totally taking advantage of it. The Statue of Liberty and the New York skyscrapers do not impress me anymore.

I went back to my bedroom to observe my body with as much disregard as before. I found myself appalling and I smiled from within.

Suddenly, I was violently sucked in by an uncontrollable force. It felt like it ripped my heart out and it swiftly took me into a dark place. I was in pain and terribly scared: it was some sort of wide-open and unstable abyss, with glowing walls and it was terrifyingly dark. The unpleasant smell of sulfur was making me nauseous, hideous shadows appeared from everywhere and fidgeted in every direction, their moans were dreadful. They were touching me lightly, trying to catch me, to hold me back - I was horrified and my fear was at its worse. Then, a bright and intense constellation enthralled me. I radiated and was attracted by it. Getting to it seemed to take forever but the closer I got the more I felt free of my torpor by its purifying brightness. I was exhausted.

As if by magic, I entered it, or it absorbed me - I could not tell the difference. That's when all my fears lessened to give way to Peace, serenity and a wellbeing that I did not know existed.

Here I was serene in a peaceful world, where the light enlightened with all its glory and invigorated intensity, where the perfumes exhaled a captivating fragrance. A world nourished by spectacular symphonies backed with the melodious sounds of sacred choirs where everywhere was pure beauty.

Nature was rich, glistening and luxurious. The green pastures were filled with flowers with fancy petals, subtle shades, and delicious smells, so beautiful that our most prized gardens would have been green with envy. Estates of crystals adorned with precious gems shined everywhere. Sky-blue lakes had a silvery reflection. Forests offered a myriad of elegant trees; their leaves were sumptuous and were of many shades of fluorescent green. Beings of an exceptional glory expressed the power of Everlasting Love in all its Pure Truth. I had never seen anything so extraordinary harmonious, never had been through such a comprehensive and intelligent sensory experience. I never felt so free to express myself, never felt such an intense flood of love.

I am captivated and paralyzed by the presence of a group.

A very large being of extreme beauty illuminated everything. He exuded Divine Superiority with his presence. He was bare-foot and he stepped away from the group to face me with all his magnificence. He was wearing a long, immaculate white alb. His arms hung alongside his body with his palms opened. My attention was on his long and stringy fingers and his fine, superb hands.

He was observing me with a look of infinite goodness and compassion that reached deep inside my being. JESUS CHRIST appeared to me, wrapped me up with his Divine Presence. His radiance embraced my soul. I could feel him with every fiber of my body. The power of his love wrapped itself around me in a surreal silence - I didn't want to leave him!

An untimely noise forced me to open my eyes. Stunned, I found myself in my bed and noticed my mother who was in the doorway. I didn't move. She thought I was asleep and I was sad. A few tears softly roll down my cheeks.

I could hear my mother busying herself in the kitchen. I got up in a hurry to go tell her I had died but that death was a wonderful state. It is only a liberation of our bodies that fills our soul with love. Surprised to see me up, she inquired about my health even before I could tell her about the unbelievable adventure I had just experienced.

Nothing mattered more than sharing with her the truth that had just been revealed to me. There was a lightness about me that made me think I was doing better. Then I realized, I am healed! My mom listened to my story skeptically and didn't interrupt to suggest that my fever must have created a delirium that brought on an enchanted dream.

In the afternoon, I asked my mom to drive my daughter, my poodle Blondie and myself to the mountain. I had this odd need to be with nature, to reconnect with the trees as if they were vital for my complete remission. My mom found my request to be unusual but happily came along for a pleasant drive. My daughter and I were on a communicative lookout. We hugged each other and laughed for no reason. My mom worried about me getting tired but she was happy for us. Blondie was wild and ran in all directions without going too far. The air was filled with the echo of our laughter and life on earth regained its rights.

Three days later, at the beginning of this beautiful month of October 1987, I was once again teaching gymnastic and dance lessons with as much pleasure as before but with a renewed energy.

All the medical exams came back negative. The disease carefully kept its secret.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: Octobre 1987

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Illness 'Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening'

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal The whole experience.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the whole thing.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I had no notion of time and space.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could see everywhere: In front, behind, above and below, left and right, far away and close to me. My sight was perfect: The colors were of dazzling brightness. The light was pure. The shapes could touch one another.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could hear extremely well. The sounds were perfectly clear.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I was violently sucked in by an uncontrollable force. It felt like it ripped my heart out. I suffered terribly, it was so painful - I found myself in some sort of wide-open and unstable abyss, with glowing orange walls and it was terrifyingly dark. The unpleasant smell of sulfur was making me nauseous - hideous shadows appeared from everywhere and fidgeted in every direction, their moans were dreadful. They were trying to catch me, to hold me back - I was so scared.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I was with beings of light of extreme beauty, as I was myself. There were beings of exceptional magnificence who expressed the power of love. I was loved and loved naturally. I knew only Jesus and his magnificence was impressive and dazzling. We were freely flowing in the air but could also stay immobile. He communicated the following to me: The power of love is the biggest power. Loving one another is essential for our spiritual growth. Everything was created by Love and with Love. Suicide isn't a solution to escape suffering. The truth is inside us and not outside. We are becoming to 'be'. Read ' Life and Teaching of the Masters of the Far East' by Baird T. Spalding who was offered to me November 12, 2005.

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I first saw a light from far away and so deeply wanted to meet up with it yet, I was so afraid to not be able to do it. The closer I got the more I was invigorated. It was of dazzling whiteness but wasn't blinding. It was Alive and intelligent.

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Avant de voyager à mon grès dans un univers de lumière d'une beauté merveilleuse ou règne l'amour, la joie, l'harmonie, l'abondance et la grâce, j'ai dû traverser un gouffre infernal qui me laisse un profond malaise. Cet univers ne m'était pas inconnu, je m'y sentais sereine, heureuse et emplie d'amour comme dans un foyer rassurant et chaleureux .

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Everyday emotions. All of them.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I saw my conception and learned that I had chosen my parents here on earth. Some events that I thought were not important, that I had forgotten, were morally painful to watch as I had unconsciously inflicted with hurtful words, careless choices or inconsiderate actions to people from my past. I learned to weigh my decisions, contain my anger, and control my words and my thoughts. I now practice meditation and relaxation.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I was aware of events concerning the future but I must admit that besides the déjà-vu and the knowledge, I cannot prove anything - as if my memory was disconnected from its memories.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Je crois en Dieu mais je ne le comprends pas. Je compare Jésus à Che Guévara

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Moderate 'Je crois en l'Unique et l'Unité. Toutes les Religions que je respecte nous promettent une vie Eternelle...'

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I had access to Love with a capital 'L': I was enjoying his kind deeds and his graces without moderation. The beauty, youth, happiness, and health. First, love ourselves then, others. Love heals everything. The order of the universe is love and light. The light is intelligent and creative. We are the universe!

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My relationships are not always good in the moment but are getting better with time. I project a confidence that may confuse people; make them think I am proud, distant or indifferent to which I am not at all. I listen more, I am more attentive, and I more patient since my experience.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Extremely difficult to describe. I carefully chose my words and constructed my sentences in the hope to perfectly describe the experience. I tried to express it in its truth and make people feel the emotions it brought on during and after.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes But the ones that every human being possess within themselves: intuition, self-healing. This experience opened a field of perceptions and actions, which up to now, were unknown to me. I developed within me the ability to activate people's inner natural force. I am able to heal, ease some psychological states, calm the pain, and heal some wounds. I bring harmony and stability favorable to the development of the 'Being'.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Three days later, all healed up, I was able to give gymnastic and dance lessons with an extraordinary energy that was unknown to me and still is lasting to this day. I am not afraid of dying anymore.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I immediately and spontaneously told my circle of friends and family. They were pretty confused but the psychological and physical changes that appeared in me didn't leave them indifferent and from it arose questions and admiration.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real To this day I still consider the reality of my experience as very real. With the intimate conviction that nothing would ever be the same, I couldn't help wondering why I came back? This question haunted me - I was feeling so good in this loving world with Jesus; everything was so simple, natural and easy. I couldn't help to find this world dull, complicated, hard and cruel. Furthermore, our freedom of speech was so limited.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real To this day I still consider the reality of my experience as very real. I now have a light inside of me that brightens any darkness. This light is rooted in my heart. The light ripens with my thoughts, blossoms with my words, gets stronger with intuition, opens out with my attitude, reveals itself in my behavior, and propagates with my actions. The experience is continually active and regenerates in silence and stillness.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I am still learning how to love.