John & Ellen's SMR  
<lotusblossom@earthlink.net>  

John Inlow here. I wanted to compliment you on your soulmate article.

If you have the time I would like to share a few paragraphs of my experience regarding my soulmate.

I agree that two soulmates' total sum is far greater than the sum of their individual parts. I have accomplished more in my eight years with Ellen than in my entire life prior to meeting her. I'm now 45 and, obviously, met her when I was 37. Since we met I have started my own business, written a novel, written and recorded a song, learned to operate a computer (never thought I'd own one), built my own website, almost entirely constructed a 4500 square foot home, and greatest of all: learned to love.

 The first 37 years of my life were in preparation for our union. If I had met Ellen any sooner I probably would have lost her to all of the mistakes I seemed  destined to create. Our meeting was chance (outward appearance) and I knew the moment I laid eyes on her that I was falling hard. We met dancing and she had a date with her that night. I like to dance country and she likes to dance ballroom; she only went to the dance hall I frequent because her date insisted. She talked her girlfriend into joining them (another important factor). When I saw her on the dance floor looking fluid and feminine I remember saying to God that I'd cut off my right arm just to have a date with her. In actuality, I felt I would be lucky to get a single dance. I thought that the date might be her boyfriend. In due course, I got up the nerve to ask her to dance. She agreed. She didn't know how to do the "two-step" so I taught her. She had it down pat half way around the floor. Man I was impressed! Well the dance ended all to soon and I escorted her back to her table. I didn't have a clue as what to do next. I didn't have to; several songs later she was back at my table asking me to dance! It seems that her girlfriend liked my energy and wanted her to get acquainted with me.

This is no joke: we floated in the middle of the dance floor. I mean, I couldn't feel my legs! The lights became a soft blur and everything began to slowly spin; just like in the movies when the camera revolves around the couple. All I could see was her smiling up at me. Everyone in the room vanished. It couldn't have been more perfect. Time stopped for awhile. I knew then that I had fallen in love...

Because she didn't dance country, the odds of her being at that dance hall that night were a million to one. The odds of her being in the states were almost that bad. She had returned back to the states from Israel to complete schooling in acupuncture. The guy she was with (that I thought might be her S.O.) turned out to be a creep that wouldn't keep his hands to himself (her words). Most amazing; before reaching the dance hall I had honestly told God that I was through with romance and love. I was just out to dance and nothing more. I would remain single the rest of my life. Also, at that time I was studying Catholicism and felt a resentment building towards Jewish people because I blamed them for the death of Christ. Guess what? God has a great sense of humor. I found out that night that Ellen's a Jewess. I laughed at myself a long time afterwards and at the way God teaches me lessons. He doesn't always use a 2 x 4 on me. The worst part of the evening was discovering that I had heard and therefore memorized her last name incorrectly. I thought it a bit "tacky" to write down phone numbers in a bar; so I asked her if she was listed in the book and that I would call her the next day if she would give me her full name. Imagine: the woman of your dreams, and you can't find her name in the phone book! At church I prayed for a miracle. Anything! After church, at a Chinese restaurant having lunch, a tiny voice in my head (you know the kind) suggested that I transpose the second letter in her last name. So I started with "a" and then "b" and then "c"; you get the idea. When I got to "t" it clicked. I ran to the public phone and with trembling fingers raced through the pages to locate what I hoped would be her name. It was..... turns out she had left a message on my machine at home just two minutes earlier. She was puzzled why I hadn't called her..... I almost cried. When it's meant to be....

Growth employs struggle. I have grown a lot with Ellen. It hasn't always been easy. I have overcome many weakness and thank god Ellen is patient. More than once I could have lost her due to my indiscretion. And it's her patient attitude (although she not afraid to display anger) more than anything that has taught me what love's all about. It's easy to love when things are going well. But when things aren't so hot; that's when the greatest lesson surrounding love can occur. It's a shame that so many of us bale at that point.

Everyone who has known me comments from time to time about the vast differences between me now and me then. I owe so much of the improvements in my personality and life style to my relationship with my soulmate, Ellen.