Soulmates 2003
by Jody

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Dr. Jeff and I embarked on a journey of discovery on Valentine's Day 2000.  Now the Soulmate project comes full-circle on Valentine's Day 2003.  What is interesting is that most of the in-depth study provided by near-death experiencer (NDEr) insights has validated the introduction to Soulmates that was written in November 2000 (Long, 2000).  Moreover, this study has added new dimension and insights into the study of Soulmates.   We've come a long way from Webster's dictionary where soul mate means "a person temperamentally suited to another." 

In looking at prior cultural tradition of Soulmates, one often runs across the terms of karmic, dharmic, and twin flames.  Karmic soul mates are those who travel throughout time with each other and experience the cause/effect of their actions on each other until they solve the underlying issue.  Dharmic soul mates are those who are helpmates, usually associated with positive actions accumulated over many lifetimes.  Twin flames are those two persons who are split from the same soul nucleus (Long, 2000).  In actuality, all of these concepts have a basis in truth according to the NDE Soulmate studies.  However, there are overriding principals that tie all of these concepts together. 

At the very core of our being, are issues of, "who are we?", "where do we come from?", and "what purpose do we serve here on earth?" 

"We" appear to be individual streams of universal consciousness (Long, Jody 2002 Soulmates and Consciousness).  Each individual stream breaks off or leaves the interconnectedness of the universal consciousness and attaches itself to a physical, earthly body.  The stream of consciousness contains the memories, emotions, and thought processes.  The physical brain acts as an interface between routine thought and activities.  The stream of consciousness is responsible for creative thought and exercising free will. 

Some characteristics of consciousness are emotions, spiritual growth, and the need to interconnect with other individuals (Long, Jody 2003 Emotions).  Emotions are a universal constant that ties our earth reality to the other side.  It is possible that love is not only an emotion, but a component of the fourth (or greater) dimension as a communication matrix (Long, Jody 2002 Fourth Dimension). 

Another dimension to Soulmates is that there are many streams of consciousness who are learning the same or similar lessons.  Some are teachers who have mastered the lessons and guide us along our path.  Some are students who incarnate on earth together.  One of the more surprising results came from the study on beings (Long, Jody 2002 Beings).  Here it was discovered that there is a high percentage of blood relatives who NDErs see on the other side or who communicate with the living very soon after passing away.  More parents opted to come back to earth for the children or children for their parents than for any other reason.  This is a curious result that would support a theory that the soul and the DNA may be connected according to a cluster group with whom we travel throughout time with and learn lessons together.  

Our universal purpose is to learn to love ourselves and to love one another.  By properly learning this lesson on earth, we are able to reconnect with the universal stream of consciousness, otherwise known as God/Jesus/Supreme Being.  It appears that we may be separated from the other side as a mechanism to exercise free will.  This is not inherently a good or an evil process; It simply is what it is.  Only by being removed from the environment of total love and knowledge, could we be motivated to grow by learning to reconnect to the universal stream of consciousness.

According to what NDErs report in the life review, most say we are learning the lessons of cause/effect of our actions on others.  The way we interpret the cause and effect on others is by looking at how we feel about the actions and can feel others emotional reactions to our initial actions.  The top three answers to universal purpose had to do with our life cycle on earth as part of a continual, natural process in the evolution of the soul and that we were to love and help one another. 

It was very curious that in the study of universal purpose, life changes, and life review, there were not a lot of people who mentioned relationships or family.  Yet, in the Beings paper, blood relatives were prominently mentioned.  On the other hand, the life review, universal purpose, and life changes, talk about the need to love one another and reconnect with the stream of universal consciousness.  Perhaps, as separate streams of consciousness, it is necessary to incarnate with our individual soul-cluster group to have the support system on earth.  Nevertheless, when we reconnect with God, we all merge into one collective consciousness whose communication and knowledge base is love. 

Applying the principals above, a plausible explanation is that relationships are not the primary purpose for coming to earth.  However, relationships are the primary tool in learning to love and thereby, promoting soul growth.  M. Scott Peck's definition of love in The Road Less Traveled, is very close to what NDErs say, that love is the will to extend one's self to nourish one's own or another's spiritual growth (Peck, p.81). 

Both, family and significant other relationships serve the function learning lessons.  However, the mechanisms are slightly different.  The family relationships are a type of Soulmate relationship where soul clusters travel together to learn lessons with each other.  The function may be support or in other cases antagonistic in order to set the stage for future individual lessons. 

The significant other is very close to us and in many ways acts as a mirror of ourselves.  As we allow love to grow within ourselves, such as when we "fall in love," any blocked emotions in ourselves will be moved or exposed.  The closer we get to a significant other the stronger the mirror effect; the more love exists and the deeper, childhood blockages start to surface.  Thus, there is turmoil and conflict and old issues resurface to be consciously dealt with.  This is the phase that people talk about when the "honeymoon is over."

Have you ever heard that saying that when a couple argues, typically it is two 3 year olds in conflict?  This happens because of how our consciousness has evolved on earth.  We, as a species, developed in a manner so that we could keep our conscious mind free to deal with new issues.  Therefore, most of our actions are out of habit and we only break out of habit when we are confronted with new situations.  Many people have never explored how they act when they get angry and what triggers the angry response.  Most likely, if one looks deep enough, these behaviors were ingrained in the psyche at an early age and in response to one's parents or siblings.  The behavior is usually the same, only transfers to the significant other when we grow up and leave the family nest.  The ingrained behaviors become a habitual coping mechanism used the rest of one's life unless we consciously exercise our free will to change the behavior into a new coping mechanism.   

The lessons learned in the family, extend and intensify with a significant other.  We also take the same lessons and the same habitual behavior to work and with our friends.  Ultimately, the greatest expression of our learning and soul growth is when we can expand our love for one another and continue in our quest for reconnecting with the universal stream of consciousness.

So, when looking at the karmic, dharmic, and twin flame theories of Soulmates, we see that there is a grain of truth.  We continue to struggle with family, significant others, work, and with our views of God, until we can reconcile erroneous belief systems with our true nature by exercising love for all.  As bleak as life may seem sometimes, there are people there who are purposely sprinkled along our path to help us achieve reconnection with God - they are dharmic connections that help keep us balanced.  The twin flame theory could have its roots in all of us being part of the same stream of universal consciousness, whether that is in a fourth or much greater dimension ' we'll find out on the other side.

REFERENCES

Long, Jody (2002) Soulmates and Consciousness, New Understandings from Near-Death Experience Research, https://www.nderf.org/NDERF/Research/consciousness.htm

Long, Jody and Dr. Jeff (2000) Soulmates Introduction https://www.nderf.org/NDERF/Soulmates/SoulMateIntro_life.htm

Long, Jody and Long, Jeffrey (2003) https://www.nderf.org

Long, Jody (2003) Emotions and the Near-Death Experience, https://www.nderf.org/NDERF/Research/emotions.htm

Long, Jody (2002) Lessons from NDEs About the Fourth Dimension, https://www.nderf.org/NDERF/Research/fourthdimensionanalysis.htm

Long, Jody (2002) Another Look at Beings Encountered During the Near Death Experience, https://www.nderf.org/NDERF/Research/beingsstudy.htm