From Soul to Soulmate:
Bridges from Near-Death Experience Wisdom
by Jody Long

When I turned 50, I started to question if I was happy with what I had accomplished so far in life and what I would like to see for the future if I only had 10 or 20 more years to go.  I have been webmaster of the Near Death Experience Research Foundation (NDERF) www.nderf.org The NDE wisdom has had a profound effect on me, even though I have not experienced a NDE.  The ultimate thought was that if I could do the biggest thing to help the most people, what would it be?  Writing "From Soul to Soulmate" is my answer because my conclusion was that the world needs a lot more love.

In our ultra-fragmented, media-driven society the art of personal relationships has been lost.  Many people would not know real love because they have no model or idea of what it looks like or feels like.  Those people who die, go to the other side, and then return have some amazing wisdom to share with the rest of us.  The near-death experience wisdom can only approximate real love because language is a barrier to such an expansive emotion as the love they feel on the other side.  Sharing the NDE wisdom helps seekers to understand what is real and what is not.  It helps to set the stage for what soulmates are looking for in one another. 

For instance, after reading hundreds of quotes about love "love times a million," "love like you can't experience on earth,"  "unconditionally loved, with no judgment" one starts to realize that what we see on TV, read in books, or see how others interact with family, usually doesn't come close to these descriptions.  There is a large discrepancy, and consequently, a large section of the book that explores NDEs and the reality of the NDE wisdom.

There is also a section of the book devoted to understanding how we develop our behaviors and how we can change our behaviors so that we can be in a soulmate relationship.  The classic examples are usually buried in the subconscious imprints received from the ages of 0-5.  For instance, a person who is a victim of domestic violence will probably unconsciously choose to be in a violent relationship because that is what they are comfortable with subconsciously.  The cycle of abuse usually continues onto their children.  The only way to stop the domestic violence cycle is to understand the behaviors and make conscious choices to change habitual behavior. 

Being part of a Soulmate relationship is primarily about making the right conscious choices.  One needs to be conscious of their actions on other people and make choices to do loving actions.  Loving actions will bring loving people into our lives.    We can transform ourselves and others by making those choices that are based in love and respect towards ourselves and others.  Many people may not realize that the opposite of respect is contempt.  So if a person has disdain in their voice and rolls their eyes, they are disrespecting another person.  If that person is your significant other, that is the death knell for a relationship. 

The issue is whether the person realizes and intends to do this or if this is just part of behavior learned from the ages of 0-5.  If a person realizes this behavior and wants to make conscious choices, they can change that behavior and salvage the relationship.  If a person does this intentionally and refuses to change, then it helps the other person to realize that there is no helping the relationship and it is time to make the change to a loving soulmate relationship.

That is one of the reasons that there is a section on toxic personalities.  There are some people who are not ready to be soulmates yet.  That doesn't mean they can't become loving people, it just means that they are in a lot of pain.  Remember that song by Offspring, ". . . She's got issues and I'm going to pay, going to pay, going to pay. . ."  That's what I'm talking about.  Unless the reader is truly masochistic, they don't need to pay.  They can make conscious choices to be in a relationship with a loving person that doesn't need fixing first.  On the other hand, nobody is perfect.  But in general, the toxic personalities are not ready to be in loving, soulmate relationships.

Finding a soulmate means exercising choices that bring us closure to our "soul" nature and less towards our physical selves.  Behaviors that bring us closer to God are those actions that are of the soul.  They are less materialistic and more towards increasing unconditional, compassionate love towards another person. When we are able to see with eyes of the soul and behave in the manner of the soul, we attract that love into our lives. 

As with all relationships, a study on soulmates is not a cut and dried recipe on life.  What it does do is to explore the types of soulmate relationships and help to make them better by understanding soulmate dynamics.  For instance, some people may wonder why their neighbors who fight so much are married.  There are soulmates who are karmic soulmates and who have issues to work out together.  The fact that they are fighting may actually be much healthier because they show that they are interacting and working on the issues; Rather than being apathetic and giving up on the relationship. 

There are several types of soulmates.  One of the more interesting is the twin flame.  The story goes that when a soul descends onto earth for the first time that it splits into two halves.  So for every person, there is another part of themselves in the world.  The book includes a section discussing soulmates and a study on soulmate stories that have been submitted on the website of the years. 

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Near Death Experience Research Foundation (NDERF) Is the largest NDE Website in the world with over 1300 full-text published NDE accounts. www.nderf.org   

After Death Communication Research Foundation (ADCRF) Is the second largest ADC Website in the world with almost 900 full-text published ADC accounts. www.adcrf.org 

Out of Body Experience Research Foundation (OBERF) Is the largest website of its kind which includes all other consciousness experiences that are not an ADC or an NDE in the world with almost 1000 full-text published accounts. www.oberf.org